get some clarity around some of the interactions that I have with my sister. And, how people sort of deal with interactions. I think I'm coming from a place of just being relieved to meet other people with similar experiences.
Well, you can get all of that here.
It is hard to be in a relationship with someone who can't consider your needs and even see you most of the time. Everyone has some of the behaviors seen in BPD but those with it engage in the behaviors even more and the behaviors are pervasive.
What pushed me to finally get proactive with either reading or reaching out was a small fight, not even the largest one we've had.
I can relate to this. What got me to say no and get away from my mothers daily abuse was something small and insignificant in the grand scheme of things. It was enough and it was time. I was ready to make changes.
Often when we change the way we respond to these sort of interactions, they can be pushback. It is not a conscious thing, rather something people will instinctively do to get things back to the original state. So after setting boundaries there are what are called extinction bursts that we just have to ride through by standing firm and not going back to the same old behaviors that kept us repeating the same old dynamic.
HappyC said:
What helped me with this issue, was truely accepting that there was nothing I could do about it.
This is a very powerful realization. We can't control them, we can't fix them we usually can't get them to see our side of things or even to see us as individuals. Take this as an opportunity to work on you, learning about the behaviors associated with the disorder, see how they have played out in your relationship with your sister and learn the tools we offer here to improve things for yourself.
How are things with your sister now after the argument? Are you still talking with each other? Do you want to maintain contact with her?