Things are different from the last time I spoke with her

[Grissum69]

Hello all,

It's been a while since I last posted on here, I actually got away from it all and I have been doing well.  After dealing with my last adventure with someone who I wasn't interested in that is diagnosed BPD, I walked away and never looked back at it.  I didn't deserve to be treated like that, and I had enough.  Well that same person has resurfaced again, and things are different from the last time I spoke with her.   She is seeing a therapist and is on medication, seems to be 180 degree turn around  .   She apologized and told me that she realizes that I'm a kind and caring person, she would like a chance at a relationship with me  .  I was thrown back by all of this...  I found out during that time we had no contact she got married, she was supposedly raped by her husband and he is now in jail for domestic violence. (4th marriage) .   We have spent time together since meeting again, I've met her family and we had lunch together.  We've been to church together as well, it was nice.  

I applaud her on getting help if that is really happening.  I'm very skeptical and I'm trying very hard not to let my emotions not get in the way of everything, I'm not sure how to proceed with this situation at all.  

I'm very afraid of everything turning out the way it once was or worse...  I was really into this woman and was treated like a door mat.  I have read and done so much research on this subject and have yet come across a successful outcome but one time on this site.    I ask myself is this her only under the influence of medication and how would it be if and when she forgets to take it one day or for a while?    She recently asked me if she could move in with me, her parents want to sell the apartment she is in now.  I said I'll think about it...  

I don't know what to do or how to think about this...    

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[once removed]

do you consider yourself to be in a relationship with her?

for how long have the two of you been talking again?

[Grissum69]

I don't consider it to be a relationship just yet...   We've been talking for about two months now.

[itsmeSnap]

She recently asked me if she could move in with me, her parents want to sell the apartment she is in now.

Big decision to think about given you guys are not in a relationship.

What happens if it turns out like you expected it to? cohabitation is a responsibility and a commitment, make sure you are both really up for it before you make up your mind.

We have spent time together since meeting again, I've met her family and we had lunch together.  We've been to church together as well, it was nice.   

I applaud her on getting help if that is really happening.  I'm very skeptical and I'm trying very hard not to let my emotions not get in the way of everything, I'm not sure how to proceed with this situation at all.   

I don't know what to do or how to think about this

Remember pwBPD go through periods of idealization and devaluation, make sure you know where you stand. Be safe, don't do anything impulsive .

Maybe not share an apartment while you get to know "the new her", doesn't have to be romantic. You know your story with her and you know hers, take that into account. sounds like something you'd consider?