Daughter is selling porn on line

[newoutlook]

Need  some advise please. My DD23 and I have not spoken since 20th December as I did not respond to her needs. My DD, wanted me to list all the things that I said and did wrong by her mind and she was not willing to discuss these issues with me, just wanted me to list them all.
I have been told that she is now selling porn on social media which is most upsetting to me. I do not have social media as I am a very reserved person. Do I try and reach out to her? I am afraid if I do, will I make it worse by her posting worse things to upset me. Also, I have been forwarding her mail to her previous address. I am not sure if she still lives there. My last text was from her, I cannot wait till you don't know where I live and I cannot wait till you don't know my business. Do I try and text her, not sure if I am blocked, to ask her if she still wants her mail sent there. I know I cannot help her unless she wants the help but I cannot stop crying right now as it is such a shock for me. Feeling really sad right now and just want to jump into a deep hole and never come out. I know I need to be strong for my other daughter as she is also suffering inside.             

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[FaithHopeLove]

I am so sorry newoutlook. That must be so painful to not only be cut off from your daughter but to know she is doing something harmful and illegal. My DS also does harmful and illegal things and it hurts me too. I really don't know whether you should contact her or not. But if you do I would keep the message affirming and light. Please take care of yourself and know you are not alone.

[Mirsa]

Hi Newoutlook,

I'm so sorry to hear this and completely understand how upsetting it is.  Last week my 17yo BPD DD posted a somewhat pornographic photo of herself on social media.  I was able to get her father to encourage her to take it down, and then she posted a blaming message on social media about how she was basically body shamed. (ridiculous accusation to deflect attention from her behavior).   The whole thing hurts.  It's embarrassing, upsetting, and frustrating that her thinking is so warped.   I'm so sad for her and I just want to shake her and get her to see how she is hurting herself and others.  And I can't.  The powerlessness of the whole situation just slays me.

Move over and make room in that hole because I'd love to curl up in there too and hide from the reality of who she is.  It hurts.