My son was recently diagnosed with BPD and it's been tough

[Mum2Mig]

  My 18-year old son was recently diagnosed with BPD. His symptoms started at around 10 years old but my husband and I thought it was just part of adolescence. When he was 12, we moved to another country and that's when his behavior started to escalate. He used drugs, ran away, got into fights, did not attend school. At 15, after he ended up in the emergency room for getting into a fight the second time, we got very scared and decided to bring him back to our home country to seek rehabilitation for his drug use. The residential program was three years on the average but after 20 months, my husband (despite my opposition) took him back to live with us.

Since the day he returned he has not stopped blaming us for putting him in rehab, says mean things to us on a daily basis and complains how bad we are as parents. He cannot do his school work and does not do anything but play video games. He yells, punches the walls and threatens to kill himself.  After more than two years of verbal abuse from him, my husband and I are at a loss, spirits weakened. I am not giving up on him but I feel helpless and so unsure on what to do or who could help us.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Only Human]

Hello Mum2Mig and welcome to BPD Family!

I'm so sorry to hear what you've been going through with your son, it's no surprise your spirits are weakened, that you feel hopeless; given his behavior, many would feel the same. I want you to know that you are not alone - many parents here will relate to what you have shared, myself included. We are all learning together how to improve our lives, to cope with a loved on with BPD.

Verbal abuse, punching walls, accusations, suicide threats, that's a lot to be dealing with, Mum2Mig, do you have any support in the real world? A Therapist of your own? A strong support network is very important.

I hope to hear more from you and how we can best support you.

Welcome to the family!

~ OH

[stampingt1]

Welcome Mug2Mig:

Our DS 18 was recently diagnosed w/ BPD, too. He has appointment scheduled w/ a new DBT therapist later in the month. We have adjusted his meds. Just trying to take one day at a time. It's his senior year of high school, so we are trying to help him be successful w/ that. However, not sure that's going to actually work out.

 

[FaithHopeLove]

I join the others in welcoming you to the group. You have come to the right place for help and support.

[stampingt1]

I would suggest you read "stop walking on eggshells" by Paul T. Mason & Randi Kreger..."taking your life back when someone you care about has borderline personality disorder.

I'm about half way thru it.

Good luck!