I need help...

[Hiscaru]

I made a post a little while back describing how my ex cheated on me and started pursueing a relationship with that same guy. I’m obviously still a wreck. I miss her one day, forget her the next, and it repeats. I went to get professional help(therapy) to attempt to figure out how to better myself, and how to handle the situation. At this, the therapist and I came to the conclusion that she most likely has BPD.

I was nothing but loving and caring, I did everything in my power to keep her happy, and make her laugh. I guess my question is, what was going through her head when she did what she did, and how is she able to move on so quickly? She hasn’t reached out to me in a week and a half, and she clearly forgot about me already. I just need answers because in my mind everything was all good, and I constantly asked her if she was good or needed to talk.

[Mindfried]

My experience is my ex UDBPD was a bottomless pit. No matter how much I loved her and no matter how selfless I was towards her it was never good enough.

The deal breaker for you should be the cheating. At the end of the day no matter how painful it is she did you a favor its just hard to realize that right now because of the emotional pain you are going through.

Its easier said than done but look at this as a new beginning for you. A new adventure. Great things lie ahead for you. A great person who you are more compatible with is right around the corner. Have faith knowing everything happens for a reason and everything always has a tendency to work out for the best.

[once removed]

we mourn and grieve for people that we have loved. even when they hurt us. i understand your pain; my ex left me for someone else as well and it was one of the toughest things i ever went through.

thats a process we all have to go through, and unfortunately, there arent quick fixes, but it really does get better.

its hard to say what is on her mind. i know that my guesses about what were in my exes mind were pretty far off. what is often the case is that when a person cheats, rather than face the shame of it, its often easier to try to start fresh. its a weak thing, and im not sure it has a lot to do with you personally, though i imagine it very much feels that way.

[frankofwgkta]

i know it hurts so much. the best thing is for us to move foward and focus on ourselves. my ex BPD partner left me 9 days ago and in our relationship she left me 6 times and during the couple of days we were broken up she started dating other people and during our relationship she cheated on me a lot. if this is the first time she has done it. try your hardest to move on even though it is the harderst thing we have to do. you got this and stay active in this group chat! it really helps knowing that you are not the only going through this. remember that love doesn't hurt. and be careful with going back theres a huge chance she will leave you again or doing it again. becareful.

[Hiscaru]

I appreciate all your responses! Yea its a very difficult time for me. She wasn't just my girlfriend she was my best friend. She was someone that would comfort me just as much as I would comfort her. It's just unsettling that given we dated over two years, you'd expect some empathy. I still don't know a lot about BPD, maybe that's why I'm confused. I feel like it isn't real if I'm going to be honest, and everyday it does get progressively easier. When i first found out about her cheating, which was roughly a month ago, I asked her if she could take back everything that happened with this other guy, would she? and she told me that she would, and that she made a mistake. I guess you are right in the fact that she wants a fresh start, but I did tell her that I'm all for forgiveness and that I would take her back regardless of what happened. Maybe that makes me a weak person, but in my mind, everyone deserves a second chance, and I offered her that. She obviously didn't take it.