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[Asherah]

Hi I know this is a forum for family members which is why I am posting here . I am newly diagnosed with BPD. Mine was caused by abuse by my husband the loss of 2 children and being raped and tortured all in a small time frame from each other . I’ve done a lot of dissociating and my memory is not good but I know I’ve caused pain . I am wanting to understand from a family point of view what it is like to live with someone like me . I know it’s not easy being me even though I’ve worked through a lot of my issues and I’m feeling better now . I just know I have caused my husband pain and he stood by me through it all and put up with outbursts and other behaviors I don’t remember very well . I need to understand so I can fix my relationship because I value him very much and while I can’t take back the past I want the future to be much better . In your opinion what would you want to see happen with a future relationship with someone like me ? I know this is prob odd. It he is my main concern and I love him very much. After waking up and accepting this I just want to fix everything and do things right so your opinion is valuable to me . I appreciate you thanks

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Steps31]

Welcome
It's brave and honorable of you to seek out advice like this.
I would like to see more stability... in other words, a lot of times, I don't know when or where the "border lion" will show up and she becomes very hostile and accusatory. Then I have to watch what I say because if she blows up, the intensity is all out no matter what degree the perceived slight.
So I'd like to see more trust and better regulation of her emotions.

Good luck

[I Am Redeemed]

Hi Asherah,

I'm very sorry to hear about all the pain and trauma that you went through. That must be very difficult for you. I am glad that you are reaching out and making an effort to heal and to better your relationship. That is a very brave thing.

Since this is a forum for family members, it can sometimes be triggering for a BPD sufferer to read about the difficulties of non-BPD partners in their relationships. There are some resources designed for the purpose you describe. I have provided a link for you; perhaps you will find these resources helpful:

Resources for BPD sufferers

Desiring a better future for your relationship and your life is a wonderful goal to have. Good luck to you and your husband on your journey towards healing.

Blessings and peace,

Redeemed