Nothing left to give

[Parents! Get help here!]

First post here
I’m really struggling.
My youngest hasnot been well for over 10 years.
Binge eating disorder, Bulimia, Anorexia, major depression, anxiety disorder, self harm, suicidal ideation ... just to name a few and not to mention everything else that goes with that. Stealing, lying, name calling, not working, paranoia, overt sexualised behaviour, alcohol abuse, drug abuse, destruction of property, multiple overdoses etc etc
She’s just been diagnosed with BPD at 23 and I have nothing left to give.
I’m suicidal myself now, have sought help with counselling and medication but I’m over it. I have no support , hospitals turn her away back to my care because they have no beds. She has no money due to shopping binges and owing money and I feel I have nowhere to turn.
I’ve just watched her walk out the front door, dressed in clothes I wouldn’t wear, to meet her pimp. So she tells me anyway. God knows how she earns that extra money and I’d hate to think. There’s no consideration for me though , just always wanting me to be there and not be ‘such a drama queen’ .
I’ve spent thousands on treatment, fixing broken doors, furniture, locks etc
I’m done! I don’t know where to go from here?

[Resilient 56]

First post here
I’m really struggling.
My youngest hasnot been well for over 10 years.
Binge eating disorder, Bulimia, Anorexia, major depression, anxiety disorder, self harm, suicidal ideation ... just to name a few and not to mention everything else that goes with that. Stealing, lying, name calling, not working, paranoia, overt sexualised behaviour, alcohol abuse, drug abuse, destruction of property, multiple overdoses etc etc
She’s just been diagnosed with BPD at 23 and I have nothing left to give.
I’m suicidal myself now, have sought help with counselling and medication but I’m over it. I have no support , hospitals turn her away back to my care because they have no beds. She has no money due to shopping binges and owing money and I feel I have nowhere to turn.
I’ve just watched her walk out the front door, dressed in clothes I wouldn’t wear, to meet her pimp. So she tells me anyway. God knows how she earns that extra money and I’d hate to think. There’s no consideration for me though , just always wanting me to be there and not be ‘such a drama queen’ .
I’ve spent thousands on treatment, fixing broken doors, furniture, locks etc
I’m done! I don’t know where to go from here?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[FaithHopeLove]

Hello, Resilient
I am both happy to meet you and sad for what brings you here. Your story is so familiar. The good news is you have come to the right place for help and support and to know you are not alone in your struggles with your daughter. Everyone here gets it. You call yourself "suicidal" Are you in immediate danger?  You also say you were in counseling before. Are you in therapy now? Lots of us find that it is helpful. Posting here is also helpful. It is so great you took the first step by posting. I encourage you to keep doing that. Have you had a chance to look around the website and see all the educational materials we have here? It really is a treasure trove. What is your single most pressing concern right now that we might be able to help you navigate? Again. You are most welcome here.

[Only Human]

Hi Resilient 56

Along with FaithHopeLove I welcome you to  bpdfamily and assure you that you have reached out to the right community.

I think we all have gotten to the point where we feel "done," "over it," especially when we feel we have no support, despite reaching out to those who are meant to help...hospitals turning her away for no beds is certainly discouraging!

Here, we are learning together how to navigate these intense relationships, to take very good care of ourselves so that we can keep going. As Faith said, you've taken an important step in reaching out to those who understand better than anyone else what you are going through. It takes a lot of strength to share your story and we are glad you did.

Stay with us here, keep posting - talking about it really does help.

I hope to hear more from you as you are comfortable sharing, many of us have found great relief by sharing, getting our thoughts and feelings out to others who can relate, who will not judge, as we've been there, are there.

Here's a big hug from me to you, you are not alone

~ OH

[Huat]

Hello Resilient 56.

Along with the welcomes you have received from Only Human and FaithHopeLove...I am sending mine.

I am sure there are many here who relate to that feeling of yours you write about..."I have nothing left to give."  I am one of them.  It is not an easy task to move on from that...but with the help and support I receive from this community of like-parents, life is better for me.  Mind you...a work-in-progress...but...in progress.

Tell us, Resilient 56, do you have support from other family members, friends?  Do you have a partner?  You mention that this daughter who is bringing you grief is your youngest.  Do you get support from your other children...are they close by?

I so urge you to keep posting here.  Part of my therapy has been in seeing my own words in writing...pouring out thoughts/feelings I couldn't share with others in my life.  Here there is no judging...just support and some light nudging.   You mentioned that you have had counselling...hope you continue with that. 

So, so glad you found us, Resilient 56.  Let us help you get to those better days ahead.   

From one Mom to another...((HUGS).

Huat

[wendydarling]

Hi Resilient

I join friends welcoming you,  reaching out a hand of friendship. We are here, we are listening and we understand your pain, you are not alone Resiliant  

As Huat says let us help you to get to better days. We can do this.

We've got you     

WDx

[Jaine]

I'm new here too.

I am concerned about you.

When I am feeling the way you describe, it is very difficult for me to read and comprehend. Let alone navigate a valuable knowledge base like this one.

Stay here for us. We value your experience and strength. You have more resilience within. Lean on us for a while.

[Elizabeth22]

Hi Resilient  warmest welcome to you, I am so glad you found us.

Please don't give up, this site and the people here have a lot to offer. There are days I don't even feel strong enough to reply to what someone has posted to me here, but I realize there is always tomorrow. I know the feelings of helplessness and hopelessness, and a lot of other people here do to, but we all try to help each other. Please keep coming back, please keep posting, vent as much as you need to, everyone understands - I promise.