Magic Trick

[Borderlined]

I've recently read (3× and on my 4th) both Walking on Eggshells and How to Love Someone w BPD.
Just by applying some validating and a better understanding what goes on in my wife's nutty little head I've defused a good amount of the tension and potential situations that normally would have been horrible nights going round and round in the nightmare of this disease. The first time I tried validating something she said by saying something like " If I looked at it from that point of view I'd be upset too" I swear she stopped in her tracks from walking away in a tornado of internal fury and said calmly "thank you for understanding what I'm saying.  I nearly fell back against the wall! 
Don't get me wrong, life is still exhausting, always watching every word and facial expression. If nothing else it gives me a map written on a crumpled napkin to help navigate through her stormy sea of wacky emotions. I love her but she gets me nuts

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[desperate.wife]

Thank you for sharing this! So good to hear it works for you. It is hard to always think about how to react and what to say. It takes a lot of strength. Hopefully, with practice, it will become second nature
 

DW