Excessively Thanking Me

[Depression = 72% of members]

My BPD husband is in a "nice, I'm a changed man" mode.  When he is like this, he thanks me  excessively for odd things.  For example, last night he went to the store and when he got home he thanked me for allowing him to go to the store.  This happens all the time when he is being "nice"  Is he actually on a path to change or is this a form of manipulation?  It makes me think he feels like I'm controlling him. I'm just at a loss.

[starryeyed]

My BPD husband is in a "nice, I'm a changed man" mode.  When he is like this, he thanks me  excessively for odd things.  For example, last night he went to the store and when he got home he thanked me for allowing him to go to the store.  This happens all the time when he is being "nice"  Is he actually on a path to change or is this a form of manipulation?  It makes me think he feels like I'm controlling him. I'm just at a loss.

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[MiseryMarriage#3]

@starryeyed I go through this too.  It would be hard for anyone to say without knowing him personally, but mine does genuinely "try" to change.  The problem is that this is a brain/personality disorder, so it really takes the person having a keen self-awareness and desire to keep at it.  Just think about your own character flaws and how they come out when you are tired/run down/under pressure.  The same goes for the person with BPD.  They will react to pressures in life the way they are programmed and going against that urge to actually refrain is hard.  Having the "disorder" or mental illness (mom) in mind helps me to have empathy and say okay so they are not doing this to harm me.  It isn't even about me.  It's what they are feeling and going through. You really have to have tough skin to hack it with this kind of issue.  Personally, I try to enjoy and relish the good days, so I can put the bad days in perspective.  For me, the fact that my hBPD "tries" to manage his condition at all is what keeps me going.