DD moves out today

[MomSA]

I suppose this is a happy story of how far we have come in a year...last year this time our family was falling apart, our daughter wild and untameable, cutting, running with guys, doing drugs...

Today, a year later after 3 months in rehab, 4 months of DBT, meds, changes in out interactions with her, she is at peace with us, holding down a job, ready to move out and quite stable.

Today is going to be an emotional day for me and for her. She's been teary this week, but she says she needs to "adult" and while we know she still wants to use weed, she has enough safety nets in place with us, her siblings and therapist, to walk out her life in a much more wise manner than before.

I want to thank you all for your help and support over the months I have been on the boards. I value everyone who has advised me with good counsel.

Much love to you all.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[FaithHopeLove]

I am very happy to hear your success story.

[PeaceMom]

MomSA,
This is so encouraging to me! Please keep posting here as you have a transformation in your thinking, too. Your wisdom is much appreciated.

[Lollypop]

Hi MomSA

Good luck. My son moved into his own place 2 months ago and it’s been interesting watch him react to his new place, situation  and his responsibilities.

Your daughter feels it’s right and is trusting her gut. Well done to all of you as I know how much effort and patience it’s taken to get this far.

Hugs
LP

[MomSA]

I am very happy to hear your success story.

Hi Faith,

We will see what this time alone does. I am not looking at it all with rose coloured glasses...the way ahead is risky for us, but yes, there is a measure of success.

[MomSA]

Please keep posting here as you have a transformation in your thinking, too. Your wisdom is much appreciated.

Forced change mainly but i have learnt so much about myself and my parenting ways and also about what is my fault and what isn't and what is my responsibility and what isnt...

[MomSA]

Your daughter feels it’s right and is trusting her gut. Well done to all of you as I know how much effort and patience it’s taken to get this far.

thank you LP. Yes, I still have butterflies in my gut!

How is your son doing?

[Lollypop]

Hi momsa

Remarkably well considering. On the upside, managing his bills, eating and his washing, plus work. Enjoying his social life and not sitting in his room. He’s had spells of being a hermit due to too many tinder dates etc.

He’s two paperwork things to organise yet. I’ve needed to keep track for him and nudge him along. I asked him to set up an automatic bank payment to repay a loan to us and he sorted that. It’s a milestone for us.

He’s in a steady rhythm without any major wobbles... yet.

There’ll be ups and downs. Watch that you stay steady!

LP

[MomSA]

Thanks LP.

I woke at 2am and had minor panic about this whole thing...shes only 20 and still tender. A friend from rehab OD on heroin two weeks ago and another friend has just put herself into clinic for excessive weed use. So I had to lie there for hours and try to turn my mind from disaster.

she checked in like agreed when she got home from her party...and says she's coming for supper 

[PeaceMom]

MomSA,
All your mindfulness and breathing practices may be helpful. I love picturing myself sitting in a riverbank watching my thoughts as leaves running swiftly past. I also really like doing grounding exercises in my barefoot outdoors connecting solidly with the earth and my “forest baths” where I do my sensory walks. Are you near the beach? That’s my total escape place, but its10 hours away!

The more stable and grounded you are, the more DD can harness that in her new found independence.
Peace