Part 2: The Fallout From My Mom's Recent Death (She had BPD.)

[zachira]

Notwendy
I think I am in good shape and ready to do what I have to. I don't blame you for thinking about not attending your father's funeral. You say your mother doesn't like you. I think the reality is she doesn't like herself and is unable to manage her emotions with anybody who does not go along with her charade.

[Notwendy]

That's exactly right.

There were many people who helped my parents at the funeral, but one person wasn't there. It was a male caregiver for my father. He needed someone who was strong enough to help him shower and dress, and so it had to be a man. The other caregivers were female and so were not specific to my father, they helped my mother too.

I asked my mother where he was and she snapped something about her not wanting him there. I thought it was weird- funerals are open events. But after reading your post I bet he didn't put up with her charade. My father would not have said anything to him about my mother, but I bet he saw through her and either didn't come because he didn't want to deal with her or she got into a conflict with him.

My mom also listened in to any conversation with my Dad, but with this man, it surely was only him and my father  when he was helping him. He also took my father outside as he was the only one strong enough to assist him leaning on someone. I bet this made her mad. Even if my father didn't say anything, she may have imagined they were talking about her. I can imagine the Karpman drama about this.


At any rate, he was good to my Dad and a nice man. I'm glad he was there for my father when my father needed him.

[Longterm]

This thread has reached its posting limit and is now locked. Please feel free to continue the conversation in a new thread. Thank you for your participation.

Edit:  Part 3 of this thread is here: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=339672.0