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Author Topic: Sex War Stories  (Read 861 times)
Red5
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Separated
Posts: 1661


« on: September 11, 2019, 08:02:17 PM »

Excerpt
gadget writes...I wasn’t complaining, but sexually she was a whole different woman now.

One thing I’ve come to understand... “if” there were childhood issues... and a certain someone whom could provide closure dies... the person whom was the victim of _____ now cannot get closure... and closure is crucially impotrtant to the person whom was the victim of _____... that said... gadget... what do you know of your wife’s early years... before you married her?

My first wife, one of her perps was her half brother... he got killed...’she freaked out’... no closure...’then her grandmother passed’...’again... no closure’...’more acting out’... crazy stuff.

Second wife... father... then younger brother dies suddenly... “natural causes”... she freaked out... acted out’.

There is something to this... can you share anything gadget?

Red5
« Last Edit: September 12, 2019, 01:44:35 AM by once removed » Logged

“We are so used to our own history, we do not see it as remarkable or out of the ordinary, whereas others might see it as horrendous. Further, we tend to minimize that which we feel shameful about.” {Quote} Patrick J. Carnes / author,
Red5
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Separated
Posts: 1661


« Reply #1 on: September 11, 2019, 08:47:08 PM »

gadget

Maybe she had some kind of compassionate caregiver issue with her grandmother and as well mother... and maybe once they both passed she felt some type of freedom - release...’thus the increased sex drive’...’and then crash dive’...

I married wife number one when she was sixteen... I was her escape pod.

Wife number two... she also latched onto a young man... although he was seven years older than her... she was sixteen when they married...

Difference is... me and wife number one were pregnant so we got married... again I was her life boat out of her abusive home.

“Q”, udx wife #2 swears she wasn’t knocked up when her and “Joe” shipped out...

Of note, she told me this wild story... one night when she was half way down inside a box of merelot... as follows,

“When I went to get my blood test to marry “Joe”, the doctor gave me a pap smear... and during the examination he said that my hymen was not broken yet... even though me and “Joe” had been having sex since I was fifteen (Joe was seven years older)... so the Doc broke my hymen so that I could get pregnant... and I did a year later get pregnant with D33 after we got to Germany” (Joe was in the army)...

Ok, WTF was that?... I’ve never heard of such a thing before... any ideas... and WHY was she allowed to “date” 21+ year old at 15-16 years old... whoa and wow...

Anyone ever heard of that?

Red5
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“We are so used to our own history, we do not see it as remarkable or out of the ordinary, whereas others might see it as horrendous. Further, we tend to minimize that which we feel shameful about.” {Quote} Patrick J. Carnes / author,
Red5
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Separated
Posts: 1661


« Reply #2 on: September 11, 2019, 09:13:01 PM »

Excerpt
...My kids were allowed to date at 16, but we always met the person and they were the same age, not 5-6 years older.

Same here, by the time my two younger ones were of dating age, I was a single dad, we lived on base housing... Cherry Point, out on the Neuse River... I was a senior and long in the tooth Staff NCO by then.

My middle son and daughter did not move out on their own until they were in their early twenties... I remember “meeting” my daughters first serious boyfriend... when he came over, I had my knife collection spread out on the island in the kitchen... “hi” I said... and I held up one of my K-Bars... “do you carry a knife son?”

No Worries!  Being cool (click to insert in post)

Red5
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“We are so used to our own history, we do not see it as remarkable or out of the ordinary, whereas others might see it as horrendous. Further, we tend to minimize that which we feel shameful about.” {Quote} Patrick J. Carnes / author,
Red5
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Relationship status: Separated
Posts: 1661


« Reply #3 on: September 11, 2019, 10:08:27 PM »

Awesome!  I never had to do that as my daughter is a Karate Master, and I’m a 3rd degree Black Belt.  Smiling (click to insert in post)

That’s Awesome !   Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)

Another “war story”... about sex,

After my divorce was final... I started to date, “yahoo personals”

Yeah...

I only dated one other woman in between my divorce and meeting “Q”, udx wife #2.

So I meet this red headed real estate agent... she drove a Volvo Station wagon... she wore leather driving gloves... I ran into her the very day we were checking in to the “Point”.

She says “hi there”  Being cool (click to insert in post)... “your new here aren’t you”... she gives me her business card and says to “call her”...

I found her on the personals about a week later... and off to the races we we went.

I was a loved starved man, and easy pickings... she gobled me right up... wow!

She was also newly divorced... also a 20 plus year marriage... she had three sons...

She immediately threw her legs around me very tight... she was a fire cracker!

I’d never had sex like this before... she was very... shall we say... “oral”... yeah...

We dated for about nine months... she wanted to get married... but I did not... so she gave me an ultimatum... “no more happy happy boom boom till you put hardware on my finger” she said... that lasted about two months... and she dumped me... oh’ man... she almost had me!

Even after she said no more sex, she would come over... or pick me up for a “short drive”... and she would stop, take off those leather gloves... and say... “oh Red, you have got to feel this”... and she would proceeed to take my hand and put it down her tight capris and pleasure herself with my hand!

What an expert teaser... wow

Sometimes for these “drives”...’she would take me’ to a local Al Anon meeting... one time she took me to her therapist appointment...

During this appointment... she says to her T, “so if you were sexually abused as a little girl, or teenager... your life is fu_ked?”... T looked _me_ right in the eye... as though to warn me... and then glaring at _me_... and said “not always”...

The red head swore to me that she was never sexually abused because I asked her...

Hello!... Clue!

During sex, “cowboy position” would ask me... “may I call you daddy”... “oh daddy”... she would moan... yeah ; (

Whoa!... yeah... I didn’t know what to do or say... I was just going with it... hmmm,

I learned a lot from her... I had no idea about personality disorders... only knew a bit about trauma... I didn’t even know what the term narcissist was... that was me back in 2006.

This lady, she was adopted as a baby, along with a step brother... she had left home and joined the Marine Corps but had been kicked out due to drugs... she told me she had a lesbian phase... and the dated and married her husband whom was an MP, then retired / divorced at that time... she told me he liked to dress up in “drag” and that he had an abusive childhood due to an alcoholic father...

So there you have it !

That’s always how it goes down...

I escaped that one, she almost had me!, it was an experience though... yes it was...

Red5
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“We are so used to our own history, we do not see it as remarkable or out of the ordinary, whereas others might see it as horrendous. Further, we tend to minimize that which we feel shameful about.” {Quote} Patrick J. Carnes / author,
formflier
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« Reply #4 on: September 12, 2019, 11:25:38 AM »


Well...isn't this the most interesting thread...   Being cool (click to insert in post)

Red5

Hope you are doing ok from the recent weather.

That story about meeting the therapist is...wow.  Looking back, what do you think the purpose of that was?

My P describes my wife as "hyper sexual".  Most of the time that's a blessing because just about any hint of interest from me results in...

That being said...being chased, especially when it's interspersed with BPD nonsense can get things twisted around in your head. 

Best,

FF
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Enabler
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Living apart
Posts: 2790



« Reply #5 on: September 12, 2019, 12:06:05 PM »

Ditto re hypersexual... till she learnt how to weaponise it.

I remember when we were first dating (about a 6m in) we were on a local hill with some brush on the escarpment, anyway, it was a bank holiday Monday and the hill was teaming with people. She decides that now is the time and the place and 'it' had to be done there and then. So, off she goes into the bushes and halfway up a very steep slope with the noise of families in the background I seemingly passed the test. I remember protesting at the stupidity of the idea but felt somewhat coerced into doing it on the back of a lot of war stories she'd told of her and ex banging pretty much anywhere.

I know 18yr olds are pretty crackers but this certainly felt like a different level. I have a letter I wrote in 2007 after split #2 where I pointed out that her passion was soo great it felt like she wanted to climb inside me. Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan that was a drug to get hooked on. Then of course she decided I didn't find her attractive and wouldn't have sex other than deep under the covers let alone up against a lamp post on a Tuesday afternoon outside a convent.

Enabler
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Red5
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Separated
Posts: 1661


« Reply #6 on: September 12, 2019, 12:15:37 PM »

Formflier!

Excerpt
Hope you are doing ok from the recent weather.

The eye went right past us… inside of about thirty nautical miles… wow!

It was another "wild" night, Dorian showed up at about zero two thirty… and departed to the northeast at about ten the next morning, as most of the weak oaks went down last year, almost a week to the day… I only lost one oak tree, and it landed on my neighbors old pick-up, and would you believe, this same old pick-up had a tree fall on it last year too… it bracketed it, no damage, but this year, it smashed the windshield…

Excerpt
That story about meeting the therapist is...wow.  Looking back, what do you think the purpose of that was?

It was a "setup"… I was being tested, as to what my reaction was going to be, that's what I think.

Excerpt
My P describes my wife as "hyper sexual".  Most of the time that's a blessing because just about any hint of interest from me results in...

Those days are long gone for me… about four years gone now : (

Excerpt
That being said...being chased, especially when it's interspersed with BPD nonsense can get things twisted around in your head.  

That's the purpose of the "sexual pursuit"… the "love bombing"… to hook you, ie'… to "twist things around in your head".

While I was dating this bodacious red head… I was shopping in the commissary one Sunday afternoon, and I was at the meat counter / aisle… and I saw that cow diagram… you know the one, identifying all the "choice cuts"… and that's when it hit me… that's me right there, she has weighed me, measured me, and found me fondly desirable for consumption!… whoa!

Red5
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“We are so used to our own history, we do not see it as remarkable or out of the ordinary, whereas others might see it as horrendous. Further, we tend to minimize that which we feel shameful about.” {Quote} Patrick J. Carnes / author,
Red5
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Separated
Posts: 1661


« Reply #7 on: September 12, 2019, 12:40:51 PM »

Excerpt
Ditto re hypersexual... till she learnt how to weaponize it.

There seems to be a method to it…
*flash *grab *eviscerate (boundaries)  Frustrated/Unfortunate (click to insert in post) *hook firmly *suck your brains out your ____ *set hook *neutralize all resistance *engulfment/enmeshment * marriage *… now, the real show starts eg' the overt weaponization of sex!

…overt weaponization of sex = intermittent positive reward, resultant in control - punishment cycle.
 
Excerpt
I remember protesting at the stupidity of the idea but felt somewhat coerced into doing it on the back of a lot of war stories she'd told of her and ex banging pretty much anywhere.

One time, while ubpdw and I were dating… I was a single dad at that time, my D16 was of course growing into a beautiful and intelligent young woman, I was (and still am!) very proud of her, and her brothers… "Q" (ubpdw) says to me… "Red5, do you think D16 is sneaking out at night?"… I said "no, I don't, why would she do that"… "Q" comes back with, "I hate to burst your virtuous bubble Red5, but I was having sex when I was fifteen"… that would have been her ex, whom was seen years older than her...

Excerpt
Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan that was a drug to get hooked on.

It certainly is Enabler… I like you have three children now, as proof positive  Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)

Excerpt
Then of course she decided I didn't find her attractive and wouldn't have sex other than deep under the covers let alone up against a lamp post on a Tuesday afternoon outside a convent.

I have many more war stories concurrent with the above quote… maybe later !

Red5

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“We are so used to our own history, we do not see it as remarkable or out of the ordinary, whereas others might see it as horrendous. Further, we tend to minimize that which we feel shameful about.” {Quote} Patrick J. Carnes / author,
DragoN
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« Reply #8 on: September 16, 2019, 07:12:05 AM »

Excerpt
I had no idea about personality disorders
This thread is reading one.
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