dunkinflavor 
Getting through this summer alone was extremely painful, and I am just proud of the fact that I got through all while in a long distance situation with my girlfriend.
A big congrats on getting through that summer. Of course doing that that must have been hard—especially since you had a long-distance situation during that time with your gf. I of course know what it's like having someone with BP traits interfere with our friendships. It's even harder when one of our main support legs isn't easy to reach—we have to rely a lot on our own strengths.
My life is honestly great, but I keep finding myself trying to self-destruct. It’s as if I’m trying to bring the drama that she brought into my past life into my new one. I feel like this is such a terrible quality I have and it is so linked to why I stayed in the toxic situation so long.
As strange as this sounds—your struggle is something I too had when I was in my 'new life'. I'd like to share three pieces of advice with you on this.
1. Keep going on your
self-care.
2. Praying—personally this helped me a lot.
3. Investigate what's causing your 'self-destruct'. I found when I searched my issues that were causing me anxiety—it actually made them much easier to handle.
If you have a school counsellor (find a good one—I had a bad one once), I strongly encourage you to do this with them. Or if you can afford a T right now (tough at 22), then try to get the time to get through it with them. It's much easier than doing it yourself and can often be much more effective (it can be their job to help people process these things).
Good luck and enjoy your peace. Keep discussing on the board if it helps you.
