I am 99% sure I am over him and done with his BS finally.

[insideoutside]

Mod note: This post was split from the following thread as it merited its own discussion: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=339370.0

CK

Just thought I would update you on mine.  11 weeks now if you don't take FB peeking in to account.  So he had that blank profile which disappeared last week sometime.  Low and behold at 1.44 am on Monday morning a new profile appears (different email used for that one I am guessing as his blank one is still blocked).  This time with a profile picture, one he sent me when we were talking.  I didn't block that one as I didn't want him to know I had noticed.  Anyway, low and behold on Wednesday PM he deleted his account.  Yet again.  I just rolled my eyes and though yep, standard behaviour.  Not sure what the new profile was supposed to achieve.  I am never reaching out to him again and I am pretty sure I will ignore any attempts him might make at re-engaging.  If I do respond it will be to say we don't get on, aren't suited and I want no further contact. The mind boggles.  

 I am 99% sure I am over him and done with his BS finally.

[Lucky Jim]

Hey insideout, The goal, in my view, is to reach a place of indifference towards one's Ex.  Yet from my perspective, it seems like you are putting a lot of energy into peeking at his FB accounts, which is OK, but suggests to me that you have more work to do in terms of detaching.  11 weeks is still a relatively short period of time.  I suggest you notice when you start obsessing about him, then let go of those thoughts.  Easier said than done, I know!

LuckyJim

[insideoutside]

Hi LJ

Yeah not 100% granted but I don’t have the urge to contact him or find out what’s going on with him.  The last contact 12 weeks ago I wished him well and I do; I just don’t want to know about his life anymore as I end up trying to be a fixer/saviour and it’s not good for my health.  I made myself pretty ill trying to help him with his latest life crisis with no particular thanks.  I’ve got to look after me.

[Lucky Jim]

Hey IO, Totally agree: look after yourself.  You are not responsible for another adult.  Took me a long time to grasp this concept, but I finally got it.  A big part of my recovery was learning to love and accept myself, which sounds easy but is actually pretty hard for us Nons.  Sounds like you are finding your path, so keep it up!

LJ