Hi Lilme.
I find myself here more often recently trying to find answers. I am struggling to detach.
What answers are you looking for? Ask away.
He is dating someone in the community that I come in contact with through my work occassionally and I think that somehow put me back in a bad place. It doesn't help that he is suing me for custody for the 4th time and I panic at even the thought of lawyers and court.
This sounds tough and must be difficult to deal with. Why is he suing you for the 4th time? If hes been unsuccessful 3 times I would remind yourself that this is most likely futile on his end.
It hit me last night that in my subconscience I am still trying to think of ways to fix the relationship. I know it is ridiculous, but I don't know how to make it stop.
Ye, been there. It can be incredibly difficult when our thought processes take over, it is not ridiculous at all, in the circumstances, it is fairly normal. Time will make healing easier.
I only have access to a free counselor who is kind and supportive, but doesn't help me work through things at all.
Maybe you could share these concerns with your counsellor? You could always ask for a different one too.
I lost everything when I left and now own a beautiful home and have great relationships with my grown children, friends, and family. I am very successful in my career and respected in the community.
It sounds like you have come a long way, kudos for that, it's not easy to rebuild from the rubble.
But I cry every day and can't seem to move on. I am hoping this is a breakthrough and I will come out of it soon! Any suggestions or advice is much appreciated!
Ups and downs are common so try to remind yourself that your mood will improve at some point. Do you find that low points are less frequent than they once were? Or do you feel like you are stuck?
LT.