i was trying to gleam the direction you want to go in so we can best support you - and that if you arent sure (not saying you arent), thats okay, too.
i understand. i was in a similar place with my ex.
so i also know how difficult it can be to do both.
if you are trying to improve things (while leaning toward getting out) it might serve you to start a thread on the ongoing issues between you and your loved one and examine them. we can walk you through it.
what do you think?
Thank you for your kind response. I realize that I am particularly sensitive to questions about whether I am really leaning out because I have stayed in for so long after having my boundaries violated repeatedly. I have been addressing this in therapy with a great therapist but it is taking a long time. I know that I am leaning out, but what I am working on is getting better at making my actions line up with what I think and feel. I appreciate your concern about whether I am actually leaning out and it was a reasonable question to ask, it just hit me at a tough time.
I appreciate the suggestion about starting a thread on the ongoing issues between me and my partner. It turns out that I am working on the ongoing issues in my individual therapy and we are back in couples therapy (yet again), so I will probably not put in the energy to the ongoing issues here. Mostly what I am hoping for from this group at this time is to be able to hear from other people who have had similar experiences to help remind me that what I am going through is understandable and that I am not crazy. It helps me to deal with the gaslighting and projection in particular.
Thanks again.
