Major relapse - where do we go from here?

[powerup123]

I haven’t posted here in a while as things had become more settled. Over the last 6 weeks things have gone downhill until today when we had to restrain DS22 and call the police as he was so intent on suicide. The police have taken him to the psychiatric unit where he’s had two lengthy admissions previously. He is very angry with us for restraining him and doesn’t want us to know any details of his health and care.
I am concerned that they will discharge him as I don’t think his care team always believe he is really as suicidal as he says. Conversely, I’m also concerned that this will lead to another lengthy stay where he spirals even further.
He recently started DBT and is finally seeing a psychologist who is experienced in treating BPD. He has a good care plan in place and has been engaging with support workers. I am concerned that he won’t be able to access any of this support in hospital. I think he is angry and frustrated that he feels his progress is slow.
I’m also upset with myself because when it came down to it, I couldn’t keep calm and try and calm him as it felt like we were moments from losing him.
I know we need to try and get him to communicate with us. I’m very concerned that when he comes home we won’t be able to keep him safe. He always insists everything is fine and gets cross with me if I ask.
Today he insisted he was just going for a walk (with a rope) and I was overreacting. Once we were out of the room, he told the police what he intended to do.
Anyone have any advice on improving honesty and keeping him safe. Is a serious relapse usual and to be expected?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[FaithHopeLove]

Oh my Powerup
That is scary. I don't blame you for not being able to keep calm in the face of your son seeming to be in the face of suicidal behavior. It is hard for me too. I am so sorry that his hospital stays have not been terribly helpful but it is great that he is in a good DBT group and has a therapist who understands BPD.  You did the right thing restraining him and getting help
 He was a danger to himself. For now there is probably not much else you can do. You are probably traumatized yourself. I know that facing my own son's suicide attempts traumatizes me. You ask if  a serious relapse is to be expected. I think it is part of the process. I also think the best thing you can do right now is focus on your own self care so you can be as healthy and centered as possible for whatever lies ahead. How are you doing in that area?

[Blueskyday]

Absolutely terrifying situation. You can't be blamed for losing it. Hard as it is you did the right thing.

All you can do is care for yourself whilst he is in the hospital to have the strength to deal with what's to come.

Sending a hug

[powerup123]

Thanks for your kind words of support. Feeling a bit shell shocked (and sore) now. He’d been doing so well in the summer, he had a few blips but was trying so hard.
The staff in the hospital are lovely, my problem with him being there is more about the type of treatment he gets (anti psychotic drugs, other drugs and ECT) as I think the current treatment in the community (psychologist, DBT, support workers) is what he needs to move forward. I’m hopeful we’ll know more tomorrow xx

[Blueskyday]

I can imagine.
The studies show say that Lithium is by far the best drug for suicidal ideation.

There is also lithium orotate which has almost no side effects and is sold as a suppliment.

Do you have any control over what they prescribe?

[powerup123]

He did try Lithium two years ago and it didn’t agree with him, it actually seemed to make him worse. We have no input into his medication as he doesn’t want us involved in his medical care.

[Blueskyday]

So hard when the people who love him most are those he most distrusts 

Its just part of the illness