My Partners’s daughter (31 yo) has BPD

[Annabelle202]

My partner’s daughter has a masters degree in counseling but does not know she is borderline. My partner has had a lot of success in the past 4 years seeing a counselor who has really helped him interact with her. I have very little contact with her since I am the “enemy”. Since he has changed in the way he interacts with her, I think she feels that I am cause of the new limits he sets with her. I suspect she feels abandoned even though he is very supportive. Last February she told him she needed to take a break from him and he didn’t hear from her for 6 months until she showed up at his bday party. Then, no more contact until a few weeks ago when she sent him a vicious text about me. The text was full of delusions and untruths. For example, she is convinced my two girlfriends are sending her evil energy that is giving her migraines. I just started seeing a therapist myself who recommended not responding especially since the texts were not sent to me. I’m having a hard time dealing with the hatred and nastiness I have always been very nice to her and very supportive. Three years ago my partner gave her a large sum of money (she had chronic Lyme disease and was trying to get her license to become a therapist) but told her that if/when she spent it, he will not give her more-period. At the time, I warned him then that her Lyme Disease would come back when the money is gone. She just texted him that she thinks her Lyme is back and she can’t work. He’s a retired MD.(Her bills for the Lyme year amounted to $80,000] I am so afraid he will give in and start supporting her again. He’s made so much progress and I’m not sure I can stand being back where we started.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[FaithHopeLove]

Hello Annabelle
Welcome to the group. I am glad you are here. This is a great place to get information about BPD and support for you as you cope with it. I think it is great that you are in therapy. Stepparenting is difficult under the best of circumstances and having an adult child in the picture who may have BPD is far from the best of circumstances. The good news is there is help in the form of communication skills that can improve your relationship. How long have you and your partner been together? Has she always seen you as she enemy? What about her other biological parent? Are they also in the picture? It is a complicated situation but not necessarily a hopeless one. I look forward to hearing more from youm