Son verbally abusive in barking out orders to his son

[Parents! Get help here!]

Yesterday was my son's 50th birthday. We decided to go out to eat with one of his sons ,( my grandson ) . When I got to his house, he & my grandson were hanging new curtains. My  was , I think verbally abusive in barking out orders to his son. My grandson was quiet the whole time trying to help. My grandson disappears and my son is yelling, where are you ? He had gone to change clothes to go out to eat. Dinner went ok except for my son complaining his other son had an un-scheduled marching band rehearsal which created a time crunch in picking him up. We are at the school to pick him up and my son is getting irritated my grandson is not coming out of the school, he keeps texting him-calling him. I tell him he has to put the percussion up and it's time consuming. My son gets an answer from my grandson from his last call, he says he's putting equipment away, he'll be out as soon as he's done. In the car, my grandson has a cold, I mentioned he could take the diffuser to his room and diffuse an oil that is good for what ails him, his dad doesn't care for this oil, that's when I say well the grandson could benefit. My grandson and I are in the middle of agreeing he might want to do this, my son says, just stop the discussion. The rest of the ride home is us feeling like we had just been told to shut-up. On going occurrence coupled with my son repeatedly barking to my grandsons, don't be stupid.

[Guard-ed]

Yesterday was my son's 50th birthday. We decided to go out to eat with one of his sons ,( my grandson ) . When I got to his house, he & my grandson were hanging new curtains. My  was , I think verbally abusive in barking out orders to his son. My grandson was quiet the whole time trying to help. My grandson disappears and my son is yelling, where are you ? He had gone to change clothes to go out to eat. Dinner went ok except for my son complaining his other son had an un-scheduled marching band rehearsal which created a time crunch in picking him up. We are at the school to pick him up and my son is getting irritated my grandson is not coming out of the school, he keeps texting him-calling him. I tell him he has to put the percussion up and it's time consuming. My son gets an answer from my grandson from his last call, he says he's putting equipment away, he'll be out as soon as he's done. In the car, my grandson has a cold, I mentioned he could take the diffuser to his room and diffuse an oil that is good for what ails him, his dad doesn't care for this oil, that's when I say well the grandson could benefit. My grandson and I are in the middle of agreeing he might want to do this, my son says, just stop the discussion. The rest of the ride home is us feeling like we had just been told to shut-up. On going occurrence coupled with my son repeatedly barking to my grandsons, don't be stupid.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[FaithHopeLove]

Hello Guard-ed
Welcome to the group. I am glad you are with us. This is the right place for information and support. Given your son is 50 I assume this problematic behavior has been going on for some time now. There are several other grandparents here who will know just what you are going through. I am sure they will ne along shortly. How old are your grandsons? How are your relationships with them?