Cope with realisation bpd relationship finished for good

[OfficalJ]

After 3 years of being with my bpd ex we split up in January and we used live together. After 12 months trying win her back being involved in the push/pull dynamic, having her ignore me, block me on WhatsApp and Instagram,  I text her yesterday asking if she could pack my remaining things left at the house we shared so i could pick it up. She done it. Im heartbroken. It was right thing to do I know that in my head im just in bits the last message she sent me was

It's the last thing I'll ever say about the past -

I gave up my entire life , friends , family to be with you.
You promised me you would look after me and I believed you and I took a risk.

You were the first person I truly loved , I wasn't perfect but I can put my hand on my heart and say that I done everything I could to support you and love you ... I'm devastated it wasn't enough and I as a person wasn't enough.

I'm sorry for all the toxic times and the horrible things I said and done to you. I'm truly sorry from the bottom of my heart.

It kinda hurts being down here alone with no true friends and no family but I guess it will only make me stronger (eventually) but right now I'm very weak and I struggle every single day.

I really do wish you all the best for the future , I don't hate you and I will always have a part of you in my heart and a piece of me will always love you for the rest of my life.


Most importantly I wanted to say I forgive you for the past and I no longer carry the resentment around with me.

Take care jono xxx


I just want this pain to go away and me not think I've made a mistake of finally walking away. Anyone got any coping mechanisms.

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[Ozzie101]

I'm so sorry, OfficialJ. Break-ups are hard. Break-ups with BPD are a special kind of hard.

This message is a difficult one to get, I'm sure. Reading it as a dispassionate observer, there's a lot of guilt-tripping and manipulation in there. Is that typical for her?

If you don't mind my asking, what led to you walking away? Have you broken up and gotten back together before?