Child called in tears within 2 hrs of being home with her Mother

[Blueskyday]

Merry Christmas to all.

Ohh how lovely this season has been without the histrionics. I had the little one for 3 days or so, maybe more. She went back to her Mum for Xmas eve and Xmas day. My dtr managed to crash someone else's christmas day. Then the chid was to return boxing day.

I spent the day alone then helped at the night shelter for homeless people.
I felt so peaceful and the guys were all so lovely. I ate with them, cleaned and chatted.


It was peaceful. I missed the kid but focused on the Boxing day Christmas. Her presents all sat under the tree kept me happy. I had the most shocking pain in my lungs from a chest infection and a nasty virus. It was still better than being in my dtr's company.

Boxing day was wonderful. We played, we sang, we danced. We went walking with the pooch. We talked, we giggled , we cooked and we snuggled. She loved her presents and we had stuff to build.
At 8 she tidied up at times and happily so. She was a teeny bit difficult at times , only a smidge but the problem at home is showing.

Her Mother did not bother to call her or return the child's call which went to voicemail until until I actually asked if she was intending to call 24 hrs after the fact.

Today was her last day. We had so much fun she kept extending her leaving time. I took her back at 7pm.

Dtr was moody and sullen. I don't care!

Within 2 hrs the child was on the phone weeping. I just really miss you. She said she misses Mum when she is with me and me when she is with Mum and she can't choose. She has told me she thinks her Mum is getting upset when she says she wants to see me and stay with me. I felt she went home to appease her Mother. I felt she said that as she was listening.

My dtr was unusually silent during the call as she always chimes in. I felt her hand in this. She no doubt said something distressing to the child.

I explained to the child she does not need to choose. She has never lived with me and always has to go home eventually. Nothing has changed. She understood totally. (Her Mother was hardly ever here when she slept over)

We giggled on the phone. Her Mother is taking her to work again tomorrow. She has had 0 quality time or attention from her over the Christmas period.

Kid will be farmed out at New Yrs eve no doubt. My virus has not gone so I need to step back.

We ended the call on a positive note. My dtr moaned a few times in the background "ouch " etc..I just ignored it.
So at least I calmed the child down and she went to sleep happy

Best Christmas in 30 yrs.
I just need to stay the heck away from my dtr

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Swimmy55]

This is good and thank you for sharing with us.