Swearing and disrespect

[Horace]

Hi all, looking for some suggestions on the specific topic of searing and disrespect.  My 16 year old has the worst language, despite her father and I really not swearing.  She disregards my pleas for her to use more acceptable language in public at least.  At home she swears generally inconversation and uses appalling names towards me when she’s angry.  The boundary we set doesn’t work...usually, swearing at me directly results in loss of her phone for a period of up to 48 hours. 
We’re in France on holiday and she isn’t happy.  I’m taking the brunt of her frustration and if I remove her phone, I fear things will get worse!
Suggestions most welcome.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[formflier]

Why not keep removing more privileges and keep them gone?

Apparently she understands the "cost" (48 hours no phone) and is willing to "pay".

When did all this start?

Best,

FF

[Swimmy55]

Thank you for writing us.  Sometimes doing the right thing is extremely hard and  we avoid it to keep the peace.  In some of the readings here ( I can't remember which one off hand) it is important to know you can't prevent or force BPD tantrums/ crises.  They just are. With that said, gather some acceptance that she will fume , fuss and cuss when you take away her phone for 48 hours.  Here is a link on conflict that may help-https://bpdfamily.com/content/ending-conflict
I think you need self confidence that you have every right to not be cursed at.  Your well being is as important as hers.  Please write back to us as you are able.