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Skills we were never taught
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Author Topic: Greetings, I don't know how to help her.  (Read 380 times)
nrsz52
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: mother
Posts: 1


« on: January 07, 2020, 02:39:05 AM »

Good day,
I am writing from Spain. My daughter who is 25 has been diagnoised with BPD. She is receiving treatment and she has tried to commit suicide 5 times last year. I don't know how to help her. She has lost 3 times her job and lives in an apartment. She doesn't realize that she won't be able to pay for rent and I cannot give her more money. She always asks for money to cover her basic needs even suggests me to use my credit card when I tell her I don't have money but then spend hers in unnecesary things. I am scared that she has another crisis soon or that she tries to commit suicide again. Can you help please?
« Last Edit: January 09, 2020, 03:37:19 PM by Harri, Reason: changed title pursuant to guideline 1.5 » Logged
Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
Trusting-waiting

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: Mom
Posts: 32


« Reply #1 on: January 07, 2020, 12:08:38 PM »

Hello there and welcome!  So sorry for what you’re going through. Just know you are not alone. I feel your pain. My 29 y/o daughter has a baby and is suicidal. It’s a powerless feeling. All I know to do most of the time is pray. This illness makes it hard to reason with the person, let alone encourage them. Self care is extremely important. If we don’t take care of ourselves we will be impaired. It won’t benefit our children either. I’m/ we are all standing with you. ❤️❤️
« Last Edit: January 09, 2020, 03:37:40 PM by Harri » Logged
Harri
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 5981



« Reply #2 on: January 09, 2020, 03:47:03 PM »

Hi and welcome.  I am glad you are reaching out for help.  You are in the right place as we have many parents who have experienced similar with their child and who are working on getting to a better place both within their self and with their child.

I am sorry to hear your daughter is struggling with issues of suicide.  That is scary for sure on top of all the other stuff that occurs with BPD.  What sort of treatment is your daughter receiving?  Are they able to help her look into community resources for rent or even housing?

We have a lot of resources here that can help you.  It is hard to recommend a particular one until we know more of your story so I hope you post more.  In the meantime, check out these articles here:  How to get the most out of this site.

Again, Welcome
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  "What is to give light must endure burning." ~Viktor Frankl
livednlearned
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Family other
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 12749



« Reply #3 on: January 10, 2020, 07:51:28 AM »

she has tried to commit suicide 5 times last year.

nrsz52, you must be in tremendous emotional pain going through this with her. Feeling helpless while our kids suffer is one of the most intense pains we can feel as parents.

I don't know how to help her.

Does she accept her diagnosis?

How do your BPD traits express themselves in her relationship with you?

We're here to walk with you. It really does help to reach out for support from people here who understand what you're going through.  Virtual hug (click to insert in post)
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