Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
March 30, 2020, 12:27:43 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: FaithHopeLove, Harri, Once Removed
Senior Ambassadors: Cat Familiar, I Am Redeemed, Mutt, Turkish
Ambassadors: Enabler, Forgiveness, formflier, GaGrl,  khibomsis , Longterm, Ozzie101, pursuingJoy, Swimmy55, zachira
  Help!   Groups   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Survey: How do you compare?
Adult Children Sensitivity
67% are highly sensitive
Romantic Break-ups
73% have five or more recycles
Physical Hitting
66% of members were hit
Depression Test
61% of members are moderate-severe
108
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: PTSD as a result of spouse with BPD  (Read 79 times)
ConfusedandDazed
Fewer than 3 Posts
*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
What is your relationship status with them: Married but living apart currently
Posts: 1


« on: February 16, 2020, 07:33:14 AM »

Hi all-

New to this. I suspect my spouse of the last eight years has BPD. Last therapist seemed to think this was the case. Because of the verbal bashings and threatening to hurt my loved ones “if he loses his mind” - the repeated degrading and insults, the attempts to control me and putting me in no-win situations - I’ve developed actual physical reactions when he’s raging. It when the first calls come in, or the first fifty text messages...I get an immediate pounding at the temples, burning sensation in my neck and arms, severe anxiety, confusion, feelings of hopelessness and panic. Does this happen to many partners? Does it get better? Can it?
Logged
PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES
This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

khibomsis
Ambassador
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
What is your relationship status with them: Grieving
Posts: 283


« Reply #1 on: February 17, 2020, 11:21:18 AM »

 Welcome new member (click to insert in post), Confused and Dazed, and welcome to the family! It is really hard to be the spouse of a person with BPD sometimes, and it is certainly true that when conflict levels are high we too will suffer from some form of PTSD. I don't think they themselves know quite how violent they come across, but your description of being at the other end of dysregulation sounds pretty accurate.
There are many things you can do to make it easier for yourself.  You do not have to be around dysregulation, you can walk away, not answer the phone, not check your texts, etc. I often practice self-soothing even in the midst of a dysregulation by meditative chanting, it helps to regulate my breathing and heartbeat, and prevents an extreme response on my side. Also burning incense or dabbing myself with calming essential oils like chamomile and lavender. A little sneaky this, because it will calm your spouse down if he is within sniffing distance Smiling (click to insert in post)
Best of all is to reduce the conflict. Could you tell us more about your situation? The more you post the better we can help figure out the best way.

 Virtual hug (click to insert in post)
Khib

Logged

 
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2020?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2020 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
40days_in_desert
Ahquei3s
alphabeta
ArtistGuy70
AskingWhy
At Bay
Avanzando
Beneck
bigredneck
Bittlecat
Boll Weevil
calmboom
Cat Familiar
Chosen
Dnmtnbkr
drained1996
Eggshellsbroken
FaithHopeLove
Forgiveness
GaGrl
ggGreg
Gift to Myself
gotbushels
Harri
Imatter33
Jazzy48
jdc
jones54
Katrinalove
LLgreen
Longterm
loyalwife
lucidone
Manifest32f
MariannaR
Methuen
mgirl
Minttea
Mommydoc
Mutt
narcdaughter2
NorseWoman
Notgoneyet
oceanheart
oftentimes
Omega1
Only Human
PeacefulMom
pest947
podsnapG
ProudDad12
pursuingJoy
Radcliff
Raul
Recycle
Resiliant
Rev
Rosheger
SamwizeGamgee
Sandalwood
SCM
SerendipityChild
SES
Skip
StillStuck
Swimmy55
Teno
truthbeknown
Ventak
vinnie77
wavewatcher
wendydarling
whirlpoollife
Wicker Man
WindofChange
worn_out
WTL
zaqsert

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!