Sad and quite tired.

[Parents! Get help here!]

I think with the holidays I'm been feeling rather low, I just don't know how much more I can take of this. I've done the counseling, I've read the books, I watch the videos.
 I guess I'm just really at a low point. I'm feeling rather tired and sad because even though she seems like she's doing better she seems very angry with me and quite honestly I am with her too. She never stops asking for money or cigarettes. I guess I would just like to be regarded as a human being once in awhile and maybe feel I'm connected in some way.I guess what I'm wondering is is there a point where you should just bow out gracefully? You love them but for me the last five years she hasn't showed me any love or regard, I feel exhausted.

[penny52]

I think with the holidays I'm been feeling rather low, I just don't know how much more I can take of this. I've done the counseling, I've read the books, I watch the videos.
 I guess I'm just really at a low point. I'm feeling rather tired and sad because even though she seems like she's doing better she seems very angry with me and quite honestly I am with her too. She never stops asking for money or cigarettes. I guess I would just like to be regarded as a human being once in awhile and maybe feel I'm connected in some way.I guess what I'm wondering is is there a point where you should just bow out gracefully? You love them but for me the last five years she hasn't showed me any love or regard, I feel exhausted.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Swimmy55]

Hi Penny,
 I hear you.  This BPD goes on and on into infinity and is disheartening ... I have read through your previous posts and you were doing boundaries with her regarding the $ for ciggies, etc.  Did anything change?

[wendydarling]

I hear you too penny, you are carrying a heavy load, how can we help lighten it?  

WDx

[penny52]

Sorry I haven't answered, I honestly don't know how too.
  I finally just told her that we are just destroying what bit of a relationship we have and I needed to stop with everything for awhile. I'm just going to take a day at a time. Thanks   

[Swimmy55]

Good for you for drawing the boundary with her! 

[mggt]

Take it easy on yourself. This is a terrible disease. A marathon vs a sprint. I sure wish it wasn’t but it is. You’ll have good days and bad days. Hold on. Sending hugs and understanding. Write anytime you want. Ramble, rant, yell, scream. Whatever helps