Hi and welcome!

You are not alone if finding out the way you have responded did not help your situation. A lot of us learned that once we learned about BPD and came here. The good news is that you can change the way your respond and that can, over time, improve things for you. One thing I realized is that none of the lessons, tools and strategies we talk about here are intuitive. Communicating with a pwBPD (person with BPD) or anyone can be very challenging.
Can you tell us what sort of behaviors your husband is exhibiting and how you usually respond? The more you share with us the better we can help and support you.
What do I do?
Post.

Also read and reply to other peoples threads as it will help you not only in terms of building a support network but also helping you see possible solutions you can try in your own situation. We can often see solutions for other peoples situations before we can for our own.
The other thing is to start reading the resources we have tacked to the top of this board.