I know what you mean! Struggling to feel like you are doing the best thing for your brother by keeping distant. It's so counter-intuitive. Usually being close is best in a caring relationship. Keeping distant is more like tough love; we know it's good for them and we have to do it. But it feels unnatural.
It feels unnatural and painful to be distant from a problematic sibling. I will be going NC in another 15 days with my brother. I have to wait until his daughter’s (my niece) wedding.
My parents are gifting his pregnant daughter and soon-to-be SIL with my dad’s old car. I was friendly with my brother today & he told me to handle the DMV title transfer. It was very smooth how he said it. I said no politely. The car is a gift to your daughter and fiancé. They need to handle the title transfer. This is not my job.
He’s asked me to do other grunt work for him many, many times over the past 20+ years. I’ve been friendly and have done social things (dinner & movies) when my husband was alive with my brother.
My brother has always had some chore or passive aggressive dig at me. Am good at dodging the chores. I kept trying hoping things would change. It feels painful to be treated like a throwaway maid. He is very disrespectful towards his only sister.