Borderline Tendencies?

[D2]

We have been told by a Dr that our 16 year old daughter has many symptoms of BPD. She went over the criteria with us and we agree she has some of the symptoms. Dr says it’s too early to make a diagnosis but we are concerned. We understand there is not “test” - does anyone have teens with this issue? We’re they diagnosed as teens? How do they get “evaluated”? We are certain that our daughter won’t be honest with a counselor - lies seem almost automatic with her.  - ugh- we need help, this whole situation is causing so much stress/problems that we are not even living together right now.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[SadtimesAZ]

At 16 you're looking at conduct disorder and possibly ODD. There is no test but as a minor you would need to describe the behaviors with the doctor. Your looking at the cluster b spectrum which can be extremely confusing in trying to pin down a diagnosis especially on a teenager.

[BenFranklin]

I'm sorry to hear of this. I went thru this with my now 36 year old daughter and we couldn't figure her out until she lost custody of my grandkids at 3,4, and 5 years old.
I adopted the children, and now the youngest has been showing all the behaviors of her birth mother. They won't diagnosis BPD at her age (14) but say, off to the side, that they feel I'm right. I've been told that ODD is 'baby BPD' and she is diagnosed with that. I think that a more open/honest diagnosis would be helpful to her getting the treatment she needs. I really hold little hope that she will not throw away her future, as her birth mother did. I would do anything to change this but can't 

[smallbirds]

I recommend that you find an excellent therapist to do a complete neuropsychological evaluation. This involves taking a family history, talking to other providers, and conducting testing with your daughter. A good therapist will be able to account for your daughter's dishonesty.

One piece of "good" news is that you don't need a BPD diagnosis to benefit from Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT). DBT can benefit all kinds of people, including those with no mental illness at all.

[livednlearned]

Blaise Aguirre’s book BPD in Adolescence is excellent if you’d like his expertise on the issue. I agree with his opinion that it is nuts to deny a teen a BPD diagnosis, as though turning 18 (when they are a legal adult) magically changes something. He specifically looks at differences between typical teen behavior and BPD teen behavior, to debunk the theory that BPD can look like regular teen acting out behaviors.

There are diagnostics for BPD but they may not be validated (research term) for teens. Asking for the right evaluations can be confusing f you don’t know what you’re asking for, which is true for many of us.

My step daughter had a psychotic episode at 16 and one shrink diagnosed her with psychotic depression, which was later changed to bipolar, and that was the beginning of a lot of meds that did little to address the behaviors that are so challenging for her and for us. Now, at age almost 24, she refuses to be re evaluated despite multiple professionals suggesting it, as well as her dad. She has aged out of being a minor and I seriously doubt she will receive the proper diagnosis until some more serious crisis occurs.

This site is a really helpful source of information and I hope it helps build your confidence about being an advocate for your reluctant daughter while you still have legal authority to be involved in her care.

Lnl