From 30000 feet

[juju2]

Hi friends,

"So I was on here, diff ID from 2017-2018.  My r/s 10 yrs living together he is udxbpd. He is dxbpd and doesn't believe it.

We were in the getting back together push pull in 2017. We had separated, I wanted us back together...long story.
2.5 years later, not too much has changed.
From 30,000 feet.

What has changed is I no longer have many expectations.   There are people here in long term r/s who deal every day w the difficulties.  It's like can you learn to be an emotional Acrobat.  Can I learn things, unlearn others.   Get rid of expectations.  Get rid of ego.

Makes me a stronger person.   And I need to have great self care, control, self awareness.  Many things in me are strong, or getting stronger.

I thank this place for helping me thru.
It is the thru.   I get to choose.!
It's my life and I get to choose.

[Lucky Jim]

Hello again, Amback, Right, you're the Captain of your Ship.  You get to decide whether to get back together with your BPDEx.  It's your call.  It sounds like you've been in a holding pattern for a long time.  What keeps you hangin' on, as the song says?  Presumably there is something familiar about this person, possibly from your FOO or childhood?  Worth thinking about why you got involved with your SO in the first place.

LJ

[juju2]

That's a good question.

I don't know.