Husband's Ex is diagnosed BPD

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Thank you ForeverDad you are always such a wealth of information.  We were up reading what we could most of the evening and were relieved to find it's reviewing the case and decision. No new evidence and hopefully won't be as long and drawn out.

She has until 7/31 to provide her complaints and considering who the appeal was sent to our guess is because the pediatrician wouldn't come back for a second day that is her angle. Which is fine, the pediatrician already stated she doesn't have anything to say to either side which is in evidence and why the hospital sent their lawyer vs. her wasting an entire day missing patients again.

Same firm, different lawyer doing the appeal. 

I think the tough part for us is financially they'll continue to bury us and scared what do we do when we are where we are now literally out of money to fight.  SD is worth every bit of it so we'll never stop fighting but with her and boyfriend moving in we were hopeful with joint decisions one of them would be rational.

[mpacific]

Thank you ForeverDad you are always such a wealth of information.  We were up reading what we could most of the evening and were relieved to find it's reviewing the case and decision. No new evidence and hopefully won't be as long and drawn out.

She has until 7/31 to provide her complaints and considering who the appeal was sent to our guess is because the pediatrician wouldn't come back for a second day that is her angle. Which is fine, the pediatrician already stated she doesn't have anything to say to either side which is in evidence and why the hospital sent their lawyer vs. her wasting an entire day missing patients again.

Same firm, different lawyer doing the appeal. 

I think the tough part for us is financially they'll continue to bury us and scared what do we do when we are where we are now literally out of money to fight.  SD is worth every bit of it so we'll never stop fighting but with her and boyfriend moving in we were hopeful with joint decisions one of them would be rational.

[livednlearned]

If you can, park the appeal and neverending fears aside and enjoy the very real victory you were awarded. The momentum is in your favor.

We have a saying here, Don't let them rent space in your head.

If you feel yourself ruminating on the legal stuff, try to come up with a way to shake those thoughts. For me, I decided my therapist and lawyer would help me handle what I was going through (and this board) and everything else was where I built a wonderful life.

My ex was a former trial attorney and we were in court on average once a month for four years. I began to think of him like a medical condition that was going to be part of my life, and did my best to make the most of it. After a while it became almost background noise.

It's really hard to get far with an appeal. Even so, I know the expense and having this stuff hang over your head takes a toll. If it helps, my current therapist (who is helping me in part with a BPD step daughter) explained that part of the effects of BPD splitting is to create friction. I found that useful because now I can recognize when SD23 is hard at work and do what I can to neutralize her efforts. You've already taken a giant step in the right direction. That's partly why she's still fighting -- she is desperate to get back to a one-up position even if it looks like a long shot.

[mpacific]

If you can, park the appeal and neverending fears aside and enjoy the very real victory you were awarded. The momentum is in your favor.

We have a saying here, Don't let them rent space in your head.

If you feel yourself ruminating on the legal stuff, try to come up with a way to shake those thoughts. For me, I decided my therapist and lawyer would help me handle what I was going through (and this board) and everything else was where I built a wonderful life.

My ex was a former trial attorney and we were in court on average once a month for four years. I began to think of him like a medical condition that was going to be part of my life, and did my best to make the most of it. After a while it became almost background noise.

It's really hard to get far with an appeal. Even so, I know the expense and having this stuff hang over your head takes a toll. If it helps, my current therapist (who is helping me in part with a BPD step daughter) explained that part of the effects of BPD splitting is to create friction. I found that useful because now I can recognize when SD23 is hard at work and do what I can to neutralize her efforts. You've already taken a giant step in the right direction. That's partly why she's still fighting -- she is desperate to get back to a one-up position even if it looks like a long shot.

Livednlearned, thank you! I have been repeating the rent space in my head frequently I'm making a few steps forward, one back. But at least I have some forward movement.

We had a successful hearing yesterday. The motion they requested to put up bond money to put everything on hold...yet they refused to put any money up. M'kay...so when they then said they would the judge denied it, she has to pay the legal fees to my attorney now and new order remains while they do their appeal.  Thank goodness!