triggering guilt

[commongarden]

I believe I may have triggered a feeling of guilt and/or shame in my SO.  I certainly didn't mean to...He won't speak to me and it has been 5 days.  Do I just give up?  I have tried calling, texting, he doesn't respond.

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[Carguy]

Hi Commongarden.

I'm still trying to learn myself but from what I have read and experienced, the silent treatment is a very common thing with BPD's.

The only thing I can think is maybe text him with the simple message that you love him and will give him some space until he is ready to talk.

Do you think this would help?

[commongarden]

I did text him and say I was sorry and that I certainly didn't mean to make him feel badly. I just have a sick feeling that I won't see him again...

[Carguy]

I completely understand this. I am in the exact same spot with my ex BPD. We have recycled many times over the last four years but this is the worst it has been. She has reached out a time or two in the last few months and then turned right back around. I'm afraid I won't hear from her again but my therapist thinks that If I leave her alone that she will slowly split me white again.

To me it sounds like you have done what you could. The ball is in his court now. It's hard to say what will happen but everything I've read says it's not uncommon for them to get back in contact with you. The only thing with that is there is no telling how long that could be.

Until then take care of yourself. Do things you enjoy. Do some hobbies or get outside and enjoy the sun. I've found (before covid 19) that even just taking myself to the movies helped. Just being around others. Working out and practicing/competing in the highland games is something else that really helps me (and I look good in a kilt! Lol).

[once removed]

I believe I may have triggered a feeling of guilt and/or shame in my SO.  I certainly didn't mean to...

what happened?