Understanding and accepting who I am

[JNChell]

Of course. I’m laughing at myself here. I would make a terrible therapist. I’m far too pragmatic to be able to do that kind of work. Learning about communication and tapping into my empathy have helped me tremendously, but I don’t have what it takes to be a therapist. My sis, on the other hand, is a psychologist and quite brilliant. I’m very proud of her. It’s very interesting to me how the two of us have evolved out of our childhoods. We had very different experiences, but suffered equally.

I don’t want you to think that my laughter was directed at you. That isn’t the case. For a moment, I tried to picture myself as a therapist and had to laugh at myself.

[Cromwell]

No offence taken JNChell, I just was curious, I did not think you were just here to tell story and journal.

Theres been times where ive felt very lost in my thoughts here JNChell, you have swooped in and it has been a case of "someone actually gets it, thank god". Maybe just lucky I guess, in the face of what you say about being a terrible therapist, I feel grateful all the same.

Just to maybe lastly mention what you said at the start, a bit of loneliness a bit of feeling not clicking with people.

All I can say is for the person I have spoke to since I have been here, I know enough that say you were being attacked on the street corner, I would not drive past and say to my self "oh thats JNChell, the musician, I know him hes a good guy, hope he ends up ok and can tell a new story"

Theres maybe little I can do in practical terms JNChell (i was brought up pragmatic orientated) talking was always dismissed as secondary to action. But nonetheless, I think you are a good person, and interesting too, I like that you can be open and honest and I feel safe to talk to you, that are you come across down-to-earth and have helped in your own way to tell it as it is but do so with respect. We are from a similar age where that was also at least in my experience, up front and in your face personalities and maybe that is also why I relate better. Culture in society, different generations, mass media and the internet, there is a lot of stuff going on that ive noticed the idea of identity is far more of an issue than at least I recall it being "back in the day".

Forgive me also if I have strayed off track here, I try not to.

[JNChell]

Thank you for the kind words. I think that this is what this place is about, in a sense. Synergy. The full circle idea of things. For lack of better words, going through hell and then finding out that we’re not alone in that feeling. Being alone in that feeling is the loneliest place that I’ve ever been, and it took a big falling down to get to that place. I’ve realized that it was necessary, though. Mother Nature, God, becoming a parent? Something brought me out of the darkness that many people aren’t able to come out of. The people that we discuss here.

talking was always dismissed as secondary to action.

This really has me thinking. “Actions speak louder than words.” The thing is, if I’m hearing you now, you needed to be heard as a child. So did I, but looking at things from a higher altitude, that was never a possibility. The words and actions hurt and there is no way that it could’ve been different unless we had a close and personal relationship with Doctor Who. It is what it is. The healing is interesting, but it sucks because I know what the bottom line is. I’ve made bad choices throughout my life because I was trying to bury my past. I’m ok, but I would be lying if I said that I don’t live with regrets.

I’m very glad to have crossed paths with you. It’s been quite a journey. Pragmatism has its place, but maybe as things unfold, that defense mechanism can start to calm down.

I don’t really think that we can stray off track here. I think that this is a platform that allows us to do that because we have to sometimes. Look at what brought us here. We need wide open spaces to discuss what most folks will never be able to understand. And that’s a good thing. If the world understood, the world would’ve been abused. Hope that makes sense.

Sense of identity is definitely being manipulated.

I’m very glad to have crossed paths with you, friend.

[Cromwell]

Thanks JNChell same to you.

[drained1996]

So JNChell,  have you figured out who you are for yourself?  Or is that journey still unfolding?  Long time since I've posted, but I've done so in some of you threads a time ago.  I'd like to hear your take on where you are. Happy to see you still putting in the work on you journey!

[JNChell]

Hey, drained, it’s a work in progress, but for the most part I have.

[drained1996]

We're all a work in progress and will be forever.  Glad it sounds like you've found the foundation of who you are which is what we all need to learn and move forward in establishing a healthier life path for our present and future.  Good work JNChell

[Harri]

This thread has exceeded the max post limit and has been locked.  The OP is free to start a new thread to continue the conversation.

Thank you.