Update on my BPD mom and my situation.

[Amethyste]

Hello
I don't know if anyone remembers me but I posted back in 2018 about my uBPd mom.
I used to live with her and it was a nightmare. I had eczema all over my body and I started to get psoriasis just before I moved away.
I'm now living on my own and my eczema had cleared up and my health is much better. Although it has become a chronic issue as in whenever I'm stressed out or very anxious it's flares up but it doesn't last thankfully.
Anyway I wanted to ask if those who have parents with BPD are they obsessed with clutter. I forgot the name of the name but since I moved out her appartment has become a clutter mess. It was really bad when I was there I used to cry before starting the cleaning because everything I cleaned was a mess after a few hours I would cry everyday and I would tell her to throw stuff that wasn't useful all the time. But now that she's on her own it's getting very bad even my brother who's in denial about her issues we had a conversation about my mom a few days ago. My sister in law was quite shocked too. They didn't see all this because I was cleaning after her but now her place is a complete mess.
So yeah does anyone have a parent like that besides having BPD.
We had a family gathering a few days ago and she was mad because my sister couldn't be there so she didn't cook anything before we arrived and she cooked only once we arrived somehow I think it was to punish us. Her BPD is still very bad but at least I don't see her everyday but the few days I see her there is always some drama.

[Amethyste]

Ok it's called hoarding I thought there was another name for it.

[Mata]

Yes my BPD mom is a hoarder. Over the years her hoarding has changed focus from time to time. Growing up our house was in constant disarray.  When the piles of junk on the counter got to be too much, she would 'clean' by scooping it into boxes and moving it to the garage, to go through 'later'.  She could not throw things away because she was so worried something 'valuable' was in her junk piles. Then when I was in my early 20s she started hoarding pet rabbits. I had moved out by then. She had over 70 rabbits at one point.  She fancied herself a rabbit rescue, and had the animal control believing her.  But it was a mess and so obnoxious. Eventually my parents divorced and she got rid of them all.  Now, she collects rocks and leaves. Like thousands of them.  It's bizarre, but she feels she needs them.  The more anyone ever tries to talk to her about the hoarding, the more she does it, like a f--- you. So I just ignore it now.   She lives in an assisted living apartment and I figure if her junk and rock piles get bad enough they will step in.

[Panda39]

My Partner's uBPDxw is also a hoarder.  He would smuggle things out to the trash, she would search the trash and bring it all back in the house     He literally had a bag of single non-matching socks (the sock monster got the rest...or they were lost in a cluttered house) put it in the trash and she brought them back in the house!  3 evictions and an unpaid storage unit took care of most of her stuff 

Her family has been paying for her to live in hotels which is probably good, only one room, maid service, little money, as well as cycling through various hotels should be keeping the amount of her belongings down.

Panda39

[Amethyste]

Hey thanks for the replies.
Should I make another thread with the question and the poll only so I can get more votes or answers? The title was kinda off topic.

[Amethyste]

Yes my BPD mom is a hoarder. Over the years her hoarding has changed focus from time to time. Growing up our house was in constant disarray.  When the piles of junk on the counter got to be too much, she would 'clean' by scooping it into boxes and moving it to the garage, to go through 'later'.  She could not throw things away because she was so worried something 'valuable' was in her junk piles. Then when I was in my early 20s she started hoarding pet rabbits. I had moved out by then. She had over 70 rabbits at one point.  She fancied herself a rabbit rescue, and had the animal control believing her.  But it was a mess and so obnoxious. Eventually my parents divorced and she got rid of them all.  Now, she collects rocks and leaves. Like thousands of them.  It's bizarre, but she feels she needs them.  The more anyone ever tries to talk to her about the hoarding, the more she does it, like a f--- you. So I just ignore it now.   She lives in an assisted living apartment and I figure if her junk and rock piles get bad enough they will step in.

Thanks I see yeah telling them to get rid of stuff is useless. Mine doesn't do it more but it doesn't change anything.
It's sad they don't realise it's not normal and they can seek help.

[Amethyste]

My Partner's uBPDxw is also a hoarder.  He would smuggle things out to the trash, she would search the trash and bring it all back in the house     He literally had a bag of single non-matching socks (the sock monster got the rest...or they were lost in a cluttered house) put it in the trash and she brought them back in the house!  3 evictions and an unpaid storage unit took care of most of her stuff  

Her family has been paying for her to live in hotels which is probably good, only one room, maid service, little money, as well as cycling through various hotels should be keeping the amount of her belongings down.

Panda39

That's sad what a messy unstable life