Craving

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Hey guys.

I have recently broken up with my BPD girlfriend of three years.

I guess the reason I am posting here is because nobody can understand what I am going through.  She was abusive to me in almost every way but I still feel like it’s not possible for me to ever find someone I love as much as I love her.  My family and friends can see how much she has destroyed me.. so they don’t really understand how I can miss her so much.  Every moment I spend away from her I grow more and more ill to the point of feeling like I could vomit.

I know I can’t be with her. But how do I stop this intense sadness and just get over her?

[Harry000]

Hey guys.

I have recently broken up with my BPD girlfriend of three years.

I guess the reason I am posting here is because nobody can understand what I am going through.  She was abusive to me in almost every way but I still feel like it’s not possible for me to ever find someone I love as much as I love her.  My family and friends can see how much she has destroyed me.. so they don’t really understand how I can miss her so much.  Every moment I spend away from her I grow more and more ill to the point of feeling like I could vomit.

I know I can’t be with her. But how do I stop this intense sadness and just get over her?

[WhatJustHappened?]

So sorry to hear your experiences. I understand and know your struggle. What I did was to write down all of the abuse and how I felt when it happened so that I could remind myself of why I left.

My (and many others) brains play some nasty tricks on us. We start to remember the intense and joyous times, especially at the beginning of the relationship and gloss over the destruction.

Putting the bad stuff in writing helps me to remember.

This and time will be your ally.

Good luck!

[Rev]

Hi Harry,

Welcome... and I want to echo what "Whatjusthappened" said... I did exactly the same thing. It took a about a year of working on it every day for me to put some distance between being with her.

I too made a list and found this place - a great place to put things down. 

It does hurt at first and a lot of things I did were counter intuitive in the beginning. But, even if it doesn't feel like it, it does get easier with time.

Hang in there. Stay safe.

Rev