NPD

[SpacingAnn]

I did a lot of reading here the last few weeks.  I am wondering if my husband could have NPD.  He has almost all of the traits.   He needs all of my attention all the time.  Basically 24/7.  If I text or call someone else, he gets very moody and quiet.  I have lost basically all of my friends and family.  He only wants to do things with just the two of us and/or the kids.  He needs constant admiration.  He is very paranoid.  He believes everyone wants to fight him or is looking at him or is following him or is annoying him on purpose. It is constant.  He believes that everyone is wrong and he is right.   Nobody can do things better than him.  He is the best, smartest, etc.  His looks are important to him but he is not over the top with that.  When I have a headache, he has the worst migraine.   He takes no ownership in how he treats me.  Everything is my fault.  They are all my issues.  He has done nothing.  I have made everything up.  It's me.  Always me. 

I think I have PTSD which has led me to have BPD traits.  At least he tells me I have BPD.  I guess when someone tells you you are wrong all the time, doesn't that stir up those BPD traits?  When your pain is so deep because what he has done to you but will  never acknowledge it or validate and just dismisses that he ever did anything, couldn't that bring out BPD traits in anyone?    I tell him repeatedly how much pain I am in and why I feel the way I do but he denies I feel that way.  He believes he has done nothing so I couldn't possibly feel the way I do.  I do my best not to trigger him.  He can get very angry. Not physically abusive, but just enough to where I sit and try not to make things worse.  He will ignore me.  He will go days without talking to me.  I feel if I didn't make the first move to talk to him first, we could live in silence the rest of the our lives.  I do want to make things work but is it possible to have a healthy relationship with someone that does not acknowledge your feelings about anything?  I feel stuck and sad. 

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