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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Exhausted  (Read 383 times)
July16
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Spouse
Posts: 2


« on: August 02, 2020, 04:06:50 PM »

Married to someone with undiagnosed BPD and extreme narcissist. 2 children, teenage girl and boy. Spouse is emotionally volatile constantly and acts of rage resulting in yelling or adoration, especially after intimacy, is just a few of the emotions I could navigate in any given hour. Obsessed with social media to the point of ignoring other tasks including having employment. Constantly looking to create chaos outside and inside of the home. I have sought help from therapist to help me navigate and I had to find a diagnose for him myself which has led me here. Reading “ walking on eggshells “ in private and am very open with my friends and family about his behaviors. He has begun to saturate tiktok with videos of himself dancing provocatively as a way to gain attention from
Men and women yet his FB posts always show pictures of me and our kids as though is he is trying to convince people
He is normal and has integrity. He has worn me down to the point where I have no love for him anymore but know that if I seek a divorce, he will go after custody of our children and make it an extremely volatile living situation in their presence. So I hold my ground and lean on my spiritual beliefs and my support system. I find that I need more support constantly and rather than drain everyone around me, I come to you guys. I’m exhausted.
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alleyesonme
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorcing
Posts: 347


« Reply #1 on: August 02, 2020, 07:31:00 PM »

Married to someone with undiagnosed BPD and extreme narcissist. 2 children, teenage girl and boy. Spouse is emotionally volatile constantly and acts of rage resulting in yelling or adoration, especially after intimacy, is just a few of the emotions I could navigate in any given hour. Obsessed with social media to the point of ignoring other tasks including having employment. Constantly looking to create chaos outside and inside of the home. I have sought help from therapist to help me navigate and I had to find a diagnose for him myself which has led me here. Reading “ walking on eggshells “ in private and am very open with my friends and family about his behaviors. He has begun to saturate tiktok with videos of himself dancing provocatively as a way to gain attention from
Men and women yet his FB posts always show pictures of me and our kids as though is he is trying to convince people
He is normal and has integrity. He has worn me down to the point where I have no love for him anymore but know that if I seek a divorce, he will go after custody of our children and make it an extremely volatile living situation in their presence. So I hold my ground and lean on my spiritual beliefs and my support system. I find that I need more support constantly and rather than drain everyone around me, I come to you guys. I’m exhausted.

You've come to the right place. Unfortunately, or fortunately, a lot of us here can relate to what you're currently going through. As "Walking on Eggshells" says, you are not alone. Just knowing that simple fact is one major reason I've been able to hold it together in my own life despite dealing with a BP spouse.

Have you spoken with any attorneys? I would suggest doing so if you haven't yet, as there may be some strategies they can utilize that'll help you improve the lives of yourself and your kids and minimize the amount of damage your husband can do.


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