How does a parent cope with an adult child with BPD?

[Cobra Jet]

My 41-year-old daughter has suffered from various mental disorders since puberty.  I don’t know where to begin, really, but my husband, myself, and our other daughter are so weary of the struggle.  But I’m quite sure our struggle is nothing in comparison to hers.  Should I give her a name so it doesn’t get confusing?  Let’s call her Mary. 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Huat]

Hello Cobra Jet...and welcome!

You ask..."How does a parent cope with an adult child with BPD?"  Answer..."With great difficulty!"

I'm sounding flippant, aren't I?  Yours is a serious question...a question that I and every other parent here has asked.

Dealing with these troubled loved ones who share our lives is indeed tiring...and time-consuming.  So many times all the focus seems to be on them, robbing other family members of their fair share of attention.   

Now you are here...share as much or as little as you feel comfortable in doing.  You write that "Mary" has suffered from various mental disorders since puberty.  Has she ever been diagnosed as having BPD?  (By the way...that is not a prerequisite for participating here.)  Has she had counselling?  Have you had ever had counselling to help you better deal with her problem behaviours?  Does she live on her own?  Is she able to hold down a job?   Those questions are just suggestions as to where you could start to share.

Wishing you better days ahead.

Huat