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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Another crisis  (Read 835 times)
Ozzie101
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« Reply #30 on: July 19, 2020, 05:23:26 PM »

He thinks it could be. He asked the doctor but he said since his ankles and other extremities aren’t puffy or swollen, it’s unlikely. He does have the weight fluctuation symptom but no others that we can see.
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Cat Familiar
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« Reply #31 on: July 19, 2020, 05:32:42 PM »

If he's not eating other than dinner, and then eats a high protein meal, I'm wondering how that might affect his kidney and liver function.
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“The Four Agreements  1. Be impeccable with your word.  2. Don’t take anything personally.  3. Don’t make assumptions.  4. Always do your best. ”     ― Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom
GaGrl
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« Reply #32 on: July 19, 2020, 05:36:06 PM »

My husband's blood sugar put him into Type II diabetic status. He had known for awhile that he didn't do well if he went without food for more than five hours. He then experienced several instances of nearly passing out (once had to pull to side of road) and also becoming fuzzy and not thinking clearly.

Fasting may be one of the worst things your husband could do. He could need 5-6 smaller meals and snacks throughout the day.

Definitely worth a serious doctor consult!
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"...what's past is prologue; what to come,
In yours and my discharge."
Ozzie101
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« Reply #33 on: July 19, 2020, 05:40:17 PM »

Yeah, I don’t know. Dinner is usually fish and a vegetable or just an assortment of vegetables (we take advantage of fresh produce season).

He will splurge at times, but not often. And his splurge would be a normal meal for most men I know.

I’ve told him that extremely restricted eating can mess with the metabolism and with some organ functions but he doesn’t really believe it. He thinks that either something is seriously wrong or he needs to just not eat for a week to make his weight go where he wants it to be.

Doctors’ refusal to prescribe pills or do something like surgery to fix things frustrates him. But the fact is, he’s not in a weight range where a doctor would do that. He’s not overweight, medically speaking.

Thanks, GaGrl. That’s something to consider.
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formflier
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« Reply #34 on: July 19, 2020, 08:19:56 PM »


So...the question is.

Is his current "activity level" and "calorie intake" working for him?

Clearly the answer is NO.

Especially with one meal a day..I would be insistent that the blood panel check every vitamin and nutrient that can be checked.

There is such a small chance that he is getting all the nutrients he needs...

How long has he been doing this one meal a day thing?

Yes..sense the judgment from FF.  Breakfast is my favorite meal.  I try to get full and make sure there is lots of protein.  That sets me up for several small meals and snacks for the rest of the day.  I love to eat, so if I don't get breakfast right that sets me to to realize I'm starving and then majorly over eat.

Anyway...full blood (I'm always suspicious about what that means), full physical and then probably needs to work with a nutritionist (who would evaluate the blood work).

Again...is what he is doing right now "working for him"?

I don't think BPDish stuff "causes" his stuff.  The search for "magical" answers (oh just get this surgery) easy peezy..yeah that's BPDish (IMO)

What kind of stuff does he drink?  How much water?  Soda?  Caffeine?

Best,

FF

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Cat Familiar
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« Reply #35 on: July 19, 2020, 08:53:24 PM »

I’m another naturally skinny person. It’s easy for me to forget to eat. However that caught up with me a couple of years ago when I passed out in the horse pasture and hit my head on a concrete irrigation valve cover. After my concussion I had to promise my doc to eat regular meals throughout the day.

I thought I was fine, just eating whenever, but obviously my body had other thoughts on the matter.

Seeing how dysregulated my BPD husband gets if he misses a meal, I’m thinking that perhaps much of your husband’s erratic behavior might have a physiological component.
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“The Four Agreements  1. Be impeccable with your word.  2. Don’t take anything personally.  3. Don’t make assumptions.  4. Always do your best. ”     ― Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom
Cat Familiar
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« Reply #36 on: July 20, 2020, 10:55:58 AM »

Staff only This thread has reached its maximum length and is now locked. The conversation continues here: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=345538.0
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“The Four Agreements  1. Be impeccable with your word.  2. Don’t take anything personally.  3. Don’t make assumptions.  4. Always do your best. ”     ― Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom
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