hi and welcome!
I am glad you found us. We get it here and many of us either are in a similar place as you or have already been through at least part of the process of getting to a better place emotionally so there is hope and help and support.
So how do I reconcile not liking her and wanting to keep her at a distance with her BPD and her wish to be close?
I am not sure how to reconcile the two. Perhaps the first step to focus on is accepting that you feel the way you do (and that is okay) and she feels the way she does. Two opposing thoughts can co-exist. A big part of the work we have to do is to accept that our relationships will, to an extent, be limited and is not going to be more typical or what we may wish for or what the other person may wish for. Getting okay and comfortable with that, to the extent we can, will make the rest of the work easier. Sometimes this sort of acceptance is a daily choice we have to make.
Honestly, I think she already senses it.
She could very easily sense it. pwBPD (people with BPD) are often very aware of others feelings even if they are unable to act on that information in healthy ways.
"I understand it’s painful. The pandemic is very upsetting for all of us. The uncertainty is scary and stressful.
You have a right to your own feelings and opinions. I see things differently, though, and I also have a right to my feelings and opinions. There seem to be many varying interpretations the CDC guidelines, and my understanding of them is different."
I like this very much.
I'm also bracing myself for what I know is the real issue here and the bigger war to come.
The real issue is? That you don't like her? Something else?
I hope you spend some time hanging out with us here, jumping into other threads (we can learn a lot that way and help support others) and reading the material tacked to the top of the board.
Talk to you soon.
Again,
