Anyone else out there facing the same?

[Momofatornado]

Hi there, just reaching out to see if it helps getting in touch with other in similar situation as I am. My soon 20 year old daughter has BPD that we both have recently understood after years of struggle, an ADHD diagnosis, 4 school drop outs thus no finished high school, no qualifications, no jobs, not many friends of hers left.
I’m living with constant guilt, wish to help her, fear of her never becoming self sufficient. I’m being trapped between her and my husband (since 10 years) who is not her father and despite of being the nicest man on earth and really trying hard has very limited understanding of any kind of mental illnesses and even though he somewhere deep inside knows she is not well, he keeps falling back to seeing her as a naughty girl. I’m not sure what I’m expecting from this forum, guess just not having to feel so alone in all this. Oh forgot to mention that literally no one in my family knows anything about the condition of my daughter as they live thousands of miles away, we rarely visit and I don’t think they’d understand. (Always felt judged even before we figured out there was something seriously wrong).
Sorry about nearly writing a book

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[pursuingJoy]

Just want to extend a big hug and warm welcome.  No judgment here, and you'll get the support you need. 

I get what it feels like to be wedged between a challenging kid and their stepdad, and feeling alone because friends and family have no idea. I come here to talk about the really tough stuff.

Is her ADHD managed well? Does she have any interests? How are YOU holding up?

pj

[wendydarling]

Hello Momofatornado  

Joining pj's warm welcome, I'm glad you found us and jumped in. We like books   a daily post is good for the soul.  . It sounds like your sensitive DD's been through a lot too. Does the diagnosis make sense to her?

We know she's not naughty, she's struggling  

Things can get better. Small steps help.

WDx  

[Momofatornado]

Thank you both for your reply, it’s heart warming