Social media stalking

[Mr.Fly]

Hey. So this is my first post here. I just wanted to ease out something I find a hard time finding anyone in my life who can relate to. I'm not gonna go in full detail about the relationship I've been in, I will only talk about things that are related to this topic. Which is social media.

I've always been active on instagram, particularly. Because I used to model, and I make music and thought this would be a perfect platform for exposure. So when I moved to another city, I was kind of forced into a relationship with my ex who has BPD. We both shared the same dream, but I was not allowed to model, or rather not good enough. I was not supposed to think I was special, and to post something was just asking for a fight. So I backed of social media. He also wanted to do music, and I tried to make stuff for him, with him. But he hated everything, obviously. After the split, I started beeing active again on social media. I blocked him from everywhere, but he keeps making new profiles. Our relationship started in 2016 and from there I don't know what the hell was going on until 2018, when I was so done. He's been particularly angry about what I choose to write, as if it's for him. He is hypersensitive and I remember being to scared to put on music in the relationship, because he would think I put on songs with lyrics for him to hear. Like if I put on a sad love song, he would make a huge fight about what the song was about or whatever.

So now in 2020, he is still making new profiles to check my social media. And it's not supposed to be for him. He is literally blocked everywhere. And the times he comes back to visit, I always freak out, because I start seeing my profile through his eyes. Like if I posted something, he thinks it's for him in some way. So all of the sudden I've called him the corona virus, a cow or whatever. And even though I know that is not my intentions, his perspective on my social media becomes my reality. And all of the sudden I feel like this evil psychopath who calls him a virus or something like that. Like every picture get's a story through his eyes, but in my mind. And it's so annoying. And I can't make it stop. I decided to delete my profile this year, with my following, just for him to leave me alone. And I just see all my dreams or goals vanish because of this person who won't let me go. And I feel like there is this internet-war, and everyone is in on it. And I'm just like so done. I want to feel like a free person. And I want to feel like a free person online as well. And as well, I hate having to block every new profile. Because it hurts me too, because I know it's hurting him. It feels like I have to fight my own mind to have control over what's mine. If that makes sense?

For example, if I post pictures with my friends, it's like "hey here are the people that hate you." or if I'm eating some snacks or whatever it's like "I'm eating you". Which is just absurd and not the point. But I can't stop thinking how he perceives my content. Ugh.. I feel like a crazy maniac.

Is there anyone who can relate to this? Especially seeing your own life through someone else's eyes?

[JaneWrites]

My husband sees my social media use as a threat. It is attention I am  giving to "other" people and I am "putting everyone else ahead of him." (Meanwhile, Mr. Reddit is blind to just about everything in our household.) There is nothing sinister and unusual or even all-consuming about my social media usage, for the record.

Five years ago, a neighbor - a stay-at-home-dad, friended me on Facebook. His wife was already friends with me. They had us over for dinner. I coordinated with him a lot for our kids to play together. We saw them a lot. His wife worked from home, so she was around a lot. My husband took this Facebook friending as evidence that I was having an affair with him.

I think it is jealousy that you are interacting with others independent of them. They can't understand "normal" interactions. They don't know how to have normal interactions. My husband applies SO MUCH WEIGHT to every interaction he has with an outsider and so applies that same weight to every interaction I have except I don't feel the need to download everything for him so he feels left out. I get a play-by-play of every interaction he's had with someone. "What do you think so-and-so meant by that? WHAT DO YOU THINK? Was that a dig?" He has no idea how to just "be cool."

Can you protect your social media accounts and approve users?