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Author Topic: Breaking up and healing  (Read 185 times)
78wolf
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 2


« on: August 21, 2020, 02:23:44 PM »

A couple of years ago I read about BPD. At that moment my ex-partner and I (we recently broke up) were going through what could be described as hell in our relationship.  

Somehow I read about BPDs and notices immediately that she had several BPD traits, but what amazes me now is that I just realized that I myself might have some BPD traits and most certainly became co-dependent.

I did therapy and so did she on her behalf, which helped a lot, but we still got to a point where we broke up (it was actually her decision, but I believe it is for the best also, in spite of the terrible pain I feel). We have a six year-old son, who is doing well in spite of the separation. I believe we are taking this time to heal and I see some of the old co-dependent and BPD patterns fading from both of us and our way to relate to each other, with our son, and with other people.

I just wanted to share this as it is important for me to do so, it helps me gain clarity on the situation.

I really hope we can get back together with her, with all the necessary changes to make it a healthy relationship, without the dysfunctional BPD, co-dependent mechanisms, as we really love each other beyond all the deficiencies each of us feels we have.

I thank all of you in this blog and page as it helped us a lot!
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Lucky Jim
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 6189


« Reply #1 on: August 24, 2020, 02:19:33 PM »

Excerpt
I really hope we can get back together with her, with all the necessary changes to make it a healthy relationship, without the dysfunctional BPD, co-dependent mechanisms, as we really love each other beyond all the deficiencies each of us feels we have.

Hey 78, Welcome!  What makes you think your Ex has BPD?  Fill us in when you get a chance.  What do you mean when you say you hope to get back together "without the dysfunctional BPD"?   Is it fair to say that you are hoping for a recycle?  If so, plenty of us have done it, only to wind up in the same place further down the line, except with more pain.

LuckyJim
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