Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
April 19, 2024, 06:52:15 AM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
Cat Familiar
,
EyesUp
,
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Survey: How do you compare?
Adult Children Sensitivity
67% are highly sensitive
Romantic Break-ups
73% have five or more recycles
Physical Hitting
66% of members were hit
Depression Test
61% of members are moderate-severe
108
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
After 10 months unblocked to still hurt me.
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: After 10 months unblocked to still hurt me. (Read 401 times)
Thanos
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 42
After 10 months unblocked to still hurt me.
«
on:
August 22, 2020, 03:42:03 AM »
Hi my fellow people, been some time.
Maybe some of you remember me, my old posts are archived.
Long story short. 10 months ago I made a hard decision to end never ending BPD cycle. ExBpd girlfriend blocked me from everywhere, fb phone etc. There been some charm attempts, few months ago she walked past me front of my house, I didn't say nothing, just walked past her. It made me sick, it was very hard. But end of the day, it is what it is.
Now 10 moths later, I was chatting on messenger. And one point her chat head came up, with a sentence "your decision to end our relationship was the best thing what happened". Like I said, I was blocked for 10 months. I didn't open message, just arhived it. I was laying in bed, shaking for 30 minutes. I think it made my post PTSD activate.
I had many things in my mind. Do I answer? What can I gain for it etc?
But then I asked myself. How long are you going to continue? You will be dead. The saddest part is, she didn't ask me how I am. She just wanted to make me hurt, again. She has new boyfriend (2 months in relationship) and I think she might be pregnant. That's why she sent me this cold hearted message.
But it still shows, I made right decision.
All of you, be brave, be strong, you can survive. The more you resist, the more you will be proud of yourself. There is only one of you, one life. Make it count!
Logged
Cromwell
`
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 2212
Re: After 10 months unblocked to still hurt me.
«
Reply #1 on:
August 22, 2020, 08:04:15 AM »
Thanks for taking the time to share and update Thanos.
Logged
grumpydonut
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken up
Posts: 473
Re: After 10 months unblocked to still hurt me.
«
Reply #2 on:
August 22, 2020, 11:37:49 AM »
Someone who is happy doesn't look to drag someone else down. If she's contacting you, she's still thinking / feeling something for you.
It's as simple as "you hurt me, and now I have someone who loves me...so I win". But she doesn't win. She has BPD. Instability is right around the corner. If not naturally, then she will create it herself through self sabotage.
Logged
Thanos
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 42
Re: After 10 months unblocked to still hurt me.
«
Reply #3 on:
August 22, 2020, 11:59:51 AM »
Quote from: grumpydonut on August 22, 2020, 11:37:49 AM
Someone who is happy doesn't look to drag someone else down. If she's contacting you, she's still thinking / feeling something for you.
It's as simple as "you hurt me, and now I have someone who loves me...so I win". But she doesn't win. She has BPD. Instability is right around the corner. If not naturally, then she will create it herself through self sabotage.
HI Crumpydonut, I think we never talked. You are on point, thank you! I just can't belive it all happened and on some level, I feel for her. But that's on her, as she won't see her actions, what it does to others. And I feel for the guy, I know him through other friends. He is a good guy, a garegiver. Perfect candidate for her. But that's on him now, maybe he has to learn something, to not get somebody pregnant before you are sure about other person. End of the day, it's not my problem anymore. I'm building my life and health up, step by step.
Logged
legalboxers
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Ex GF / Fiancée
Posts: 364
Re: After 10 months unblocked to still hurt me.
«
Reply #4 on:
August 22, 2020, 12:02:41 PM »
I was with someone for 5 months who destroyed me. My exfiancee took 10 yrs to ruin me, this one took 5 months. How do you build yourself back up?
Logged
when they ask us to do time in purgatory, we can say no thanks, Ive done mine
grumpydonut
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken up
Posts: 473
Re: After 10 months unblocked to still hurt me.
«
Reply #5 on:
August 22, 2020, 12:25:38 PM »
Excerpt
How do you build yourself back up?
Therapy. I am 9 sessions in, and I am learning plenty about myself. Break ups have always destroyed me, made me feel like less of a man, etc. Now, due to therapy I know why.
I also know why I allowed myself to fall for someone who displayed so many red flags (that I also saw at the time).
That's the benefit of this, legal. You have an opportunity to learn through deep pain and grief. A person with BPD rarely does, and she will just go on destroying herself in the process of life.
Logged
grumpydonut
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken up
Posts: 473
Re: After 10 months unblocked to still hurt me.
«
Reply #6 on:
August 22, 2020, 12:26:00 PM »
Good to hear, Thanos. Sounds like you're in a good place.
Logged
legalboxers
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Ex GF / Fiancée
Posts: 364
Re: After 10 months unblocked to still hurt me.
«
Reply #7 on:
August 22, 2020, 12:28:50 PM »
Grumpy: I havent gotten to that stage, Ive been in worse situations. I think I am ok. Trying. Its been 3 weeks. I should be ok...
Logged
when they ask us to do time in purgatory, we can say no thanks, Ive done mine
grumpydonut
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken up
Posts: 473
Re: After 10 months unblocked to still hurt me.
«
Reply #8 on:
August 22, 2020, 12:33:41 PM »
There's a reason you fell for someone with BPD. She filled something in you. Find out what that is, otherwise you will always be at risk of falling for someone just as unhealthy as her.
Logged
Thanos
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 42
Re: After 10 months unblocked to still hurt me.
«
Reply #9 on:
August 22, 2020, 12:44:41 PM »
Quote from: grumpydonut on August 22, 2020, 12:25:38 PM
Therapy. I am 9 sessions in, and I am learning plenty about myself. Break ups have always destroyed me, made me feel like less of a man, etc. Now, due to therapy I know why.
I also know why I allowed myself to fall for someone who displayed so many red flags (that I also saw at the time).
That's the benefit of this, legal. You have an opportunity to learn through deep pain and grief. A person with BPD rarely does, and she will just go on destroying herself in the process of life.
That's true, find some proffesional help.
I will add that, there is going to be days like in hell, where there feels like no hope. But there is hope, you just have to survive. One day you feel better again, then you will have some energy and motivation to go things you loved before her.
Just remember, there is going to be bad days, but there is going to be better days, more and more as you process your way back to reality.
Logged
legalboxers
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Ex GF / Fiancée
Posts: 364
Re: After 10 months unblocked to still hurt me.
«
Reply #10 on:
August 22, 2020, 01:14:13 PM »
Quote from: Thanos on August 22, 2020, 12:44:41 PM
That's true, find some proffesional help.
I will add that, there is going to be days like in hell, where there feels like no hope. But there is hope, you just have to survive. One day you feel better again, then you will have some energy and motivation to go things you loved before her.
Just remember, there is going to be bad days, but there is going to be better days, more and more as you process your way back to reality.
I thought she was a good person. we connected on the most stupidest thing. A department store which does not exist! That is what brought us together. I feel my head is a smashed cantaloupe.
Logged
when they ask us to do time in purgatory, we can say no thanks, Ive done mine
Thanos
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 42
Re: After 10 months unblocked to still hurt me.
«
Reply #11 on:
August 28, 2020, 04:05:22 AM »
Week later, blocked again.
Logged
legalboxers
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Ex GF / Fiancée
Posts: 364
Re: After 10 months unblocked to still hurt me.
«
Reply #12 on:
August 28, 2020, 06:36:14 AM »
As I posted in other posts I survived worse. It’s been a month I’m ok. Her mother’s death anniversary is honestly heavy on me but I need to forget my ‘what would of been mother in law’ and just scrub my mind
Logged
when they ask us to do time in purgatory, we can say no thanks, Ive done mine
grumpydonut
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken up
Posts: 473
Re: After 10 months unblocked to still hurt me.
«
Reply #13 on:
August 28, 2020, 07:13:04 AM »
Excerpt
Week later, blocked again.
Hahaha, cannot help but laugh.
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
After 10 months unblocked to still hurt me.
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...