Can you expand on your concern.
I like the way you put it,
FF. I just haven't experienced any commitment from uBPDxw's team to hold her accountable for doing "a, b, and c" or not doing "x, y, and z." The history so far is that the Family T has advised specific actions, which uBPDxw does sometimes, or half-heartedly...or which she refrains from doing somewhat until she's frustrated enough. She usually resents that she has to do these things, and there is little accountability when she "forgets" or flat-out decides not to comply anymore because she doesn't think she should have to.
I get that when talking about uBPDxw's "team" we're also talking about her T and psychiatrist, but I'm not privy to what communications they have with the Family T, or agreements they come to in order to support and promote the behavior being recommended. From what I do know, I get the sense it's basically "uBPDxw's impulsivity is off the charts and she's never going to let go of her resentment, so we're just doing the best we can."
So, yes...I do agree that there should be some writing from D11's team to say these behaviors should be done, or should not be done, before uBPDxw has anything more to do with D11. BUT, assuming that happens and uBPDxw agrees to it (I guarantee you under duress), then it doesn't solve the problem of what to do when she stops complying. I don't know that we're going to be able to get this sort of thing into a custody order to make it binding in the way it would need to be, meaning I would still struggle to roll that contact back before things escalate to the point of relapse and further hospitalization for D11. I could be wrong, but that's a very strong fear of mine.
mw