leaving a BPD ex

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

hi,

i think i just ended things with my BPD partner for hopefully the last time. i'm looking for strength regarding how not to get sucked back in. i really feel for her and have a lot of sympathy for her situation, but the way she treats me when she's upset is not something i can emotionally handle. she's in therapy and on medication, and we were in couples therapy, but major blowups continued to happen and it was taking a tole on my physical & emotional health. we've broken up before and she always becomes super apologetic and convincing that she will change. at this point i know the right thing is to not go back. but i'm scared of getting sucked back in. any tips would be much appreciated.

a

[adorno]

hi,

i think i just ended things with my BPD partner for hopefully the last time. i'm looking for strength regarding how not to get sucked back in. i really feel for her and have a lot of sympathy for her situation, but the way she treats me when she's upset is not something i can emotionally handle. she's in therapy and on medication, and we were in couples therapy, but major blowups continued to happen and it was taking a tole on my physical & emotional health. we've broken up before and she always becomes super apologetic and convincing that she will change. at this point i know the right thing is to not go back. but i'm scared of getting sucked back in. any tips would be much appreciated.

a

[adorno]

also if anyone has any book recs on leaving someone with BPD... that would be super helpful

[Lucky Jim]

Hey adorno,  Welcome!  Many of us here have recycled, only to wind up in the same place farther down the line, except with more pain.  Only you know when it's time to get off the roller coaster for good.  The way to avoid getting sucked back in is through good boundaries (see tools, above).  We tend to recall the good times and forget the horrendous times with the pwBPD.  Keeping yourself on course involves keeping both the good and bad in your mind.  It's your call.  Suggest you listen to your gut feelings.  What is the right path for you?

LuckyJim