My 3 year
labor of love with my exBPDgf is over and so this will be final post.
My advice to everyone on this site, but especially to those who are dealing with BPD for the first time is to do your own research. The posts on this site can provide a lot of insight into BPD and I appreciate the support from the likes of @Once Removed and @Skip. I was also lucky enough to make a real life friend from this site!
Ultimately though my key take away after reading countless books on BPD is that it is a lifelong struggle and that there is no magical cure. For me the aha moment came from a TED talk video on YouTube
https://bit.ly/3gNXoAB. The video describes a 75 year study on happiness and the profound affect that relationships have on your happiness. Sounds obvious right? BUT, I think that often we get so caught up in our pursuit of love, that we can't see the damage pursuing these relationships is causing us.
Another big takeaway is that a lot of the literature is aimed at direct family or married couples. My situation is different in that I was dating someone with BPD. It certainly seems that there are a lot of members in a similar boat to me. When the literature is viewed with this lens, it is not so much what the books say, but rather what they don't say. There is never any mention of dating someone with BPD and while I understand that the same principles apply, I believe that should be a huge
to anyone who is trying to date someone with BPD.
I thank everyone for the support and kind words. I wish everyone the very best of luck and hope that you find happiness.
Over and out.
Bated.
