Tools

[Lindy Kay]

Hello,
I need tools to take are of myself as my husband works with a therapist for BPD.
I've read several books, Stop Walking on Eggshells, Hard to Love, and Borderline Personality: A Scriptural Perspective.  It would  helpful to hear first hand how other spouses have navigated "those moments" when I realize that I've hit my husband's nerve  and want to abort the exchange to prevent spending the rest of the day in an emotional vortex.  I try to back peddle, etc, but it's too late and then I just start crying and want to leave the room.
Thank you!

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[expatblue]

  Hi,  you used the word "want" two times in your post... to that I would advise you to do what you want.  Hard as it is because we want to reason with them once they are triggered sometimes we have to be counterintuitive and leave it for now.  ... yes, leave the room,  do something for you, he will probably calm down and seem to forget whatever was making him "uncomfortable" and reactive.

   Since I have learned to not participate in the drama there has been a lot less.  It take two to argue and there is no winning in an argument with a pwBPD.