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Author Topic: How to make my BPD adult child move out of my home.  (Read 116 times)
Stoptheinsanity!
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: Mother
Posts: 2


« on: September 16, 2020, 04:57:49 PM »

My son is 31, and recently moved in with us. His behavior mirrors that of someone with BPD and narcissistic disorder. I don't want to diagnos him, as I am not a medical professional. He's making our lives a living hell. He doesn't have a job, and has no intentions of moving out during Covid. We only recently heard about BPD, and for the first time in years I am not blaming myself for his behavior. I love my son, but I'm a hostage in my own home, and I don't know what to do. The only requirement when he moved in was to get counseling. He's been here over two months, and the rage and outbursts are getting worse, and he has no intention of getting counseling. I've read "Stop Walking on Eggshells," and that has brought much clarity. Any advice is greatly appreciated.
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Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
zebra18
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 2


« Reply #1 on: September 17, 2020, 05:23:30 AM »

I wishI had some good advice for you.Trying to be affirming and calm with your son is helpful. However, I have a 28 year old BPD son and it is so incredibly hard to do. Being positive with him never seems to have any long lasting effect or rather, it is very slow progress. I don't believe people with BPD mean to cause trouble, but they never seem to consider anyone else's needs or concerns. In the case of children, they simply don't recognize how exhausting they are. I deeply resent being held hostage and certainly understand why you do so as well. The book you mentioned is a good one. Another very good book you might try is "Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder" by Shari Y. Manning, Ph.D.  Trying to get a break from the tension in your house is very important too. Best wishes.
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Stoptheinsanity!
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: Mother
Posts: 2


« Reply #2 on: September 17, 2020, 07:57:39 PM »

Thank you for reaching out. It helps to know that we're not alone. It has escalated to the point where it's more harmful than helpful to allow him to live with us. He is horrible to me, but even worse to his father, saying things like "if I saw you dieing in a ditch, I would drive off laughing." He's only been living here for a little over two months, and it's already unbearable. No matter how much I love my son, I choose not to live like this. Hopefully, an attorney can provide us with some options.
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Swimmy55
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: Estranged
Posts: 544



« Reply #3 on: September 17, 2020, 08:18:42 PM »

You are not alone. Click on my name to read my previous posts to get my backstory.  In my experience my son dysregulated to violence and I had to get an emergency psych hold and restraining order at the court.  Otherwise most states (US)have an eviction process that takes 30-60 days.  Getting a lawyers advice is great.  Stay strong .
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