marriage

[Visions]

Hi everyone,
I have been married 43 years. Im 60 years old now. Been in therapy on and off with my spouse for 4 years. I recently spoke privately with our marraige therapist because I needed to know why my spouse is unable to heal with me. He told me that he has traits of NPD and Defiant Disorder. I said I knew something had to be wrong other than just an angry unconnected guy always walking around. I am now in therpay for myself: Self Esteem, Anxiety and depression. My husband has went back to the marriage counselor solo. What I need help with understaning is why the therapist hasn't told him about his diagnosis? He shared it with me. Maybe is afraid to tell me husband the exact definition of what he's dealing with. Instead, when my husband returned from the session he tells me the therapist said we are mirroring each other. I was triggered. I pulled back and allowed myself to NOT accept that. I feel its a way for my husband to put blame on me again. I am proud of myself for that. I wanted so bad to tell him what the marraige therpaist told me which is you are a Narcassist etc...The therpaist he's seeing has a psych Phd. I figure he knows what he is doing. Any support you guys can give me? I have moved myself out of the bedroom and started a healthy detachment from him with a therpaist support. I don't feel I can ever be sexually intimate with him again since I have heard so many times what I have done to ruin our sex life and his lack of connection being my fault. It's funny because he has cheated twice and rejected on and of because of my body image which isn't perfect like HIS. He never allows himself to gain any extra weight. He weighs himself almost daily. I have struggled on and off with being overweight by 50-100 pounds.  Have any of you stayed in the marraige and found it to be acceptable without intimate connection? Thank you for this site and allowing me to talk about this issue.
Visions

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PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.