Looking for attention in all the wrong ways

[Worryandfear]

Hello,
I have never done anything like this before. Not even sure that I am doing it correctly. I have a 17 soon to be 18 yo daughter that has been exhibiting signs of BPD for years and was finally diagnosed. She was a cutter and lied about the silliest things, and not so silly things. She has a horrible time keeping friendships although she is able to make friends initially. Oddly, she doesn’t use sex or drugs as self destruction, she finds ways (and I after a long time I realized not intentionally) to self destruct. She has faked broken bones and injuries for attention at school without thinking that her dad and I would find out. I could go on and on, because odd things have been occurring since Kindergarten. She has been in multiple partial programs and weekly Sessions with the therapist, and I sometimes feel that she is doing great, until another lie or weird behavior pops up. I am looking for people that understand this, I am tired of feeling helpless...

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[formflier]

You have found a group of people that "get it".

Good job on your first post, you did it correctly...

Can you give an example of a lie she uses?  Are there common themes?

How long has she had the same therapist?  Is that the person that diagnosed BPD?


https://www.bpdfamily.com/

I would encourage you to start reading through materials on our website..please come back here and ask questions about what you have read.

Best,

FF

[beatricex]

Hi W&F,
Lying is second nature to a BPD.  My BDP stepdaughter made us all think she had thyroid cancer, I feel for attention, before she had her second child.  She was 24 years old.  At the time I believed her, it was before she went into a rage at me and the other classic behaviors starting being described to me by my husband.

Examples:
She had a new best friend every 2 weeks from Junior High to High school.  She oscillates between putting people up on pedastals, and tearing them down.

I was told I would be the "favorite grandmother" and she spent months asking me what I would like to be called and building the whole thing up.  "Nana"?  granny"  what do you prefer?  I showered her (literally) with gifts at her baby showers.  She made it seem like we would be great buds! 

She sells makeup so I bought a boat load (so did my husband) and even had a makeup party for her to sell to all my friends (later she hated all of them).

She ocillates between being best friends with her only sibling, her sister, and bad mouthing her behind her back to us (my husband and I).

Recently, she started turning on her husband because they have two kids under the age of 3 and he's not helping enough (he works a full-time job, she sells and does makeup from home).

There is always some problem with a person in her life, like her sister's boyfriend who she "hates" (she acutally uses the word hate).  The issue she has with him is he's not a "blood relative" so, cannot possibly love kids that aren't his own. 

Anybody not in her family is fair game to be belittled and made to feel like we're perverted or weird for wanting to hug her or say "I love you."

She cannot regulate her emotions, and threatens to call the police if cornered, as she sees normal actions as threatening.

Does any of this sound familiar?

B